Post by The Messiah of Human Torture on Jul 14, 2012 23:19:27 GMT -5
The camera has flipped on at the back of a limo. It's very spacious inside. On the seat to the left viewpoint is Raven, donned in his usual attire...the black jeans, one of his offical XWA t-shirts, and the beanie over his head to cover his golden locks. He has a very sheepish smirk on his face as the limo barrels down interstate 68. To the otherside is the owner of the company. He's GM Iser on screen, but he's Seth Iser away from the camera...except today of course.
"How many damn times have I gone down this road..." Iser lowly thinks aloud.
"I'm surprised you can think after that match," Raven snickers to himself.
"Way to nearly concuss me in front of my mother you asshole!"
The duo soon begin chuckling as they're on their DSes. They seem intently focused on their pokemon like tasks as they arrive back into Morgantown after a little time away from the town for the day.
"Is there anything remotely ediable in this town besides the Sonics?"
"There's a Cracker Barrel here, Raven..." Iser mutters in thought.
"It'd probably be burnt to a crisp when we order the shit..."
They notice the limo is slowing down quite a bit from normal and both guys peer away from their DSes to try to figure out what is going on. Iser already seems to know while Raven rolls down a window and looks ahead.
"There's a damn tractor blocking the road. This really is the hick capital of the world! I bet he's probably sucking on a rubber nipple for moonshine since he doesn't have any teeth, too."
"You've never been to Bristol for a NASCAR race, have you?" Iser raises his eyebrows.
"All I need to know about NASCAR races is the Busch Brothers rule all. That's it."
"You really have to see Bristol though. A hundred thousand rednecks scronged together trying to see cars wreck because it's too fancy for their idiotic asses to compute what they really are."
"It still can't be as bad as following this tractor..."
"It could be Phillip or Dave driving that fucking thing, Raven."
Soon, the duo busts out laughing as they speed up, presumably to pass the stupid tractor man. Raven looks out to see the tractor guy and gives him the middle finger before turning to Iser with a troll-face grin.
"It's even worse...it might've been one of your uncles, Seth."
"Oh fuck you. My gene pool has all their teeth damn it. And I don't look like a guy who plays Minecraft, Starcraft, or any kind of special retardation-craft!"
"Being defensive is the first stage of denial."
"I could tell the driver we're eating at McDonalds today, Raven..."
"NO! NOT THAT!"
"Who knows...maybe we'll see Cena making a burger and raising his own sodium level."
"He should stay salty while fucking those rats."
"Yes, he should."
Raven soon gets a snicker by observing something else.
"Did you pool with Edge to get some of that hair cut off or what because if you paid five dollars for that...you paid four ninty-five too much!"
"Sorry we can't be blonde like you oh gracious dark lord," Iser rolls his eyes.
Soon enough, they screech to a stop and the entire limo rocks back and forth while the sound of metal colliding is heard.
"What the fuck!?" they both yell out loud as Iser peers outside.
Soon enough, the camera man also goes outside with them to take a look at what just happened. Soon enough, the horror is known that a tractor has actually made contact with the limo and hit them in the rear end. Raven is shocked and appalued but Iser's expression, despite his business like look in the suit, is that he's pissed. The guy in the tractor comes out.
"Sorry man...guess I wasn't pay'n attention..." the tractor driver says in a deep southern draw.
"That's a fucking understatement..." Iser growls.
"Sodium levels rising..." Raven whispers to the camera.
"Maybe yall could'a been go'n faster?" the tractor man inquires.
"We were going sixty on a fifty-five, jackass!" Iser snaps.
"You could'a lower ya tone..."
"You could learn to fucking drive you idiot!" Iser growls.
"Incoming salt shaker about to be deployed..." Raven lowly says to the camera man as he snickers.
Raven's laughter can't be contained as the tractor man glances over at him.
"This ain't funny magn." he says in that heavy southern draw.
"'Dem suspenders yer wear'n are sure as hell funny hillbilly boy. Go back to fucking pigs since it is legal in this area to do so you stupid swine sniffer," Raven fires back.
"But I like me dem tractors an---" he goes to say.
"Pay attention to me you fucking idiot!" Iser snaps at the man while Raven laughs his ass off.
"Well I---" he goes to say.
"You stupid son of a bitch. You couldn't hit the broadside of an ass if someone GPSed you the directions to her anus!" Iser hotly fires.
"Sodium levels near a McDonalds overdose!" Raven beeps almost like a robot.
"You really shouldn't be talkin to me li--"
"I can talk to you however the fuck I want to you stupid fucking cunt. How fucking STUPID do YOU have to be to hit a fucking limo in your motherfucking tractor you stupid prick sucking little wanker? Jesus fucking christ, you're a disgrace to my state, a disgrace to people who claim to have a penis...hell you're a fucking disgrace to the human race you ignorant piece of shit!"
"SALT SHAKER!" Raven proclaims.
The man is left speechless and dumbfounded as he looks over his things as Iser finally turns to Raven.
"I'm going to call for a back-up limo and we're going to go to Sonics after the police sort this fucking shit out," Iser roars.
"Damn, somebody is pissed." Raven smirks, "Are you sure you don't want McDonalds fries? They're good for sodium overloads.
"How about I take this sodium overload and shove it up that guy's ass?" Iser grumbles back as Raven and the camera man laugh as it fades to black.
"How many damn times have I gone down this road..." Iser lowly thinks aloud.
"I'm surprised you can think after that match," Raven snickers to himself.
"Way to nearly concuss me in front of my mother you asshole!"
The duo soon begin chuckling as they're on their DSes. They seem intently focused on their pokemon like tasks as they arrive back into Morgantown after a little time away from the town for the day.
"Is there anything remotely ediable in this town besides the Sonics?"
"There's a Cracker Barrel here, Raven..." Iser mutters in thought.
"It'd probably be burnt to a crisp when we order the shit..."
They notice the limo is slowing down quite a bit from normal and both guys peer away from their DSes to try to figure out what is going on. Iser already seems to know while Raven rolls down a window and looks ahead.
"There's a damn tractor blocking the road. This really is the hick capital of the world! I bet he's probably sucking on a rubber nipple for moonshine since he doesn't have any teeth, too."
"You've never been to Bristol for a NASCAR race, have you?" Iser raises his eyebrows.
"All I need to know about NASCAR races is the Busch Brothers rule all. That's it."
"You really have to see Bristol though. A hundred thousand rednecks scronged together trying to see cars wreck because it's too fancy for their idiotic asses to compute what they really are."
"It still can't be as bad as following this tractor..."
"It could be Phillip or Dave driving that fucking thing, Raven."
Soon, the duo busts out laughing as they speed up, presumably to pass the stupid tractor man. Raven looks out to see the tractor guy and gives him the middle finger before turning to Iser with a troll-face grin.
"It's even worse...it might've been one of your uncles, Seth."
"Oh fuck you. My gene pool has all their teeth damn it. And I don't look like a guy who plays Minecraft, Starcraft, or any kind of special retardation-craft!"
"Being defensive is the first stage of denial."
"I could tell the driver we're eating at McDonalds today, Raven..."
"NO! NOT THAT!"
"Who knows...maybe we'll see Cena making a burger and raising his own sodium level."
"He should stay salty while fucking those rats."
"Yes, he should."
Raven soon gets a snicker by observing something else.
"Did you pool with Edge to get some of that hair cut off or what because if you paid five dollars for that...you paid four ninty-five too much!"
"Sorry we can't be blonde like you oh gracious dark lord," Iser rolls his eyes.
Soon enough, they screech to a stop and the entire limo rocks back and forth while the sound of metal colliding is heard.
"What the fuck!?" they both yell out loud as Iser peers outside.
Soon enough, the camera man also goes outside with them to take a look at what just happened. Soon enough, the horror is known that a tractor has actually made contact with the limo and hit them in the rear end. Raven is shocked and appalued but Iser's expression, despite his business like look in the suit, is that he's pissed. The guy in the tractor comes out.
"Sorry man...guess I wasn't pay'n attention..." the tractor driver says in a deep southern draw.
"That's a fucking understatement..." Iser growls.
"Sodium levels rising..." Raven whispers to the camera.
"Maybe yall could'a been go'n faster?" the tractor man inquires.
"We were going sixty on a fifty-five, jackass!" Iser snaps.
"You could'a lower ya tone..."
"You could learn to fucking drive you idiot!" Iser growls.
"Incoming salt shaker about to be deployed..." Raven lowly says to the camera man as he snickers.
Raven's laughter can't be contained as the tractor man glances over at him.
"This ain't funny magn." he says in that heavy southern draw.
"'Dem suspenders yer wear'n are sure as hell funny hillbilly boy. Go back to fucking pigs since it is legal in this area to do so you stupid swine sniffer," Raven fires back.
"But I like me dem tractors an---" he goes to say.
"Pay attention to me you fucking idiot!" Iser snaps at the man while Raven laughs his ass off.
"Well I---" he goes to say.
"You stupid son of a bitch. You couldn't hit the broadside of an ass if someone GPSed you the directions to her anus!" Iser hotly fires.
"Sodium levels near a McDonalds overdose!" Raven beeps almost like a robot.
"You really shouldn't be talkin to me li--"
"I can talk to you however the fuck I want to you stupid fucking cunt. How fucking STUPID do YOU have to be to hit a fucking limo in your motherfucking tractor you stupid prick sucking little wanker? Jesus fucking christ, you're a disgrace to my state, a disgrace to people who claim to have a penis...hell you're a fucking disgrace to the human race you ignorant piece of shit!"
"SALT SHAKER!" Raven proclaims.
The man is left speechless and dumbfounded as he looks over his things as Iser finally turns to Raven.
"I'm going to call for a back-up limo and we're going to go to Sonics after the police sort this fucking shit out," Iser roars.
"Damn, somebody is pissed." Raven smirks, "Are you sure you don't want McDonalds fries? They're good for sodium overloads.
"How about I take this sodium overload and shove it up that guy's ass?" Iser grumbles back as Raven and the camera man laugh as it fades to black.
