Wrestlemania II

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

A huge parbombment of pyro goes off on the stage as we begin to hear the voices of Joey, JBL, and Tazz on commentary for tonight.

Joey: HELLO Ladies and Gentlement and welcome to the grandest stage of them all, Wrestlemania, and I am glad that last year I lost my wrestlemania virginity, and doing it a second time is even better.

JBL: I've competed in Wrestlemanias before and I can assure you we have one hell of a show with many grudge matches through-out the card, and a touching main event.

Tazz: No doubt, John, we got quite possibly the greatest champion of the modern era in Raven taking on one of the greatest mat technicians, the man of one thousand holds, the Iceman, Dean Malenko in a submission match! What a rocketbuster.

Joey: We got one personal issue in a match type that both men excel in when you have tables...ladders and chairs. This will be the GM of XWA, taking on the Rated R Superstar in Edge!

'So Cold' begins to play through the arena as the fans are rabid and give this man a 60/40 reaction on the positive side.

*Tazz gives Lillian some cue cards and heads to the annouce table*

Joey: What was that for?

Tazz: You'll see.

Lillian: This man is the enforcer of the Dead Pool, and the uncrowned jewel of the Xtreme Wrestling Asylum. He is Vampiro X!!!!!!

*Vamp walks about half way down the ramp, spits some red mist, and then rolls into the ring and just has his eyes locked onto the entrance ramp waiting for Kurt*

Tazz: HAHA! SHE READ IT! This was at Raven's urging too.

JBL: Lillian is such a good girl... and damn she's hot.

Joey: I thought I was dealing with The King for a minute there.

JBL: He eats whoppers at BK, good, but I eat at Sonic's then go to the bar for some beer.

The Kurt Angle music plays and it's a 50/50 reaction for him.

Joey: His actions in TNA might be coming back to haunt him when it comes to to XWA fateful.

Lillian: He is the only olympic gold medalist in professional wrestling history, this is Kurt Angle!

*Angle sets off his pyro and then enters the ring*

Joey: This will be one hell of a match.

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

JBL: Who will make the first move?

Vampiro and Angle lock up, and Angle pushes Vamp back to the corner, the ref asks for a clean break. Angle cleanly backs off, but Vamp slaps Angle right in the face, getting a good pop from the fans.

Joey: How insulting.

JBL: Psychological warfare at it's best.

Tazz: Do it again!

Angle responds to that with a fist to Vamp, and they begin to brawl, but Vamp slows Angle down with a knee to the gut, and then suddenly a hangman's neckbreaker.

Joey: I think we see the gameplan of Vamp in action already, he wants the neck because he wants to choke him out with the State of Confusion.

Tazz: My tazzmission, never seen it done better minus myself of course.

Joey: Give me a break...

*Tazz eats a kit-kat bar*

JBL: Where'dya get that.

Joey: Back to the match...

Vampiro then bounces off the ropes as soon as Angle sits up and kicks Kurt right in the back of the neck as Angle yells in pain, Vamp then bounces off the other side and hits a low looking closeline taking Angle down.

Joey: Oh man. I haven't seen THAT in a while.

Vamp continues on the offence by dropping a leg drop, and then immeditely trys for a neck-wrench, but Kurt gets a single leg take down and goes for the ankle lock early, but Vamp flips over and Angle goes back down. Vamp goes for the closeline, but Kurt ducks and goes behind and hits a belly to back suplex. Kurt goes for the cover, but only one, Angle stomps on Vamp's head repeatedly, as Vampiro gets up, and Angle goes for a belly to belly, but Vamp headbutts Kurt and then goes for a suple...wait a sling shot off the ropes, and then he's just holding him up there.

Joey: Look at that strength!

Vamp then walks two steps and it's a brainbuster and Angle folds up. Vampiro doesn't go for the cover, and instead he drops a knee to the head of Kurt, and then he bounces off the ropes and goes for a high leg drop, but Angle moves!

Joey: This could be the tide turning moment!

JBL: Angle's had his neck worked on. It's Kurt's weakpoint and Vampiro knows it.

Tazz: Ah...Vamp'll shake it off...right?

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

Joey: Both men are at their feet and they're trading right hands, Vamp swings, Kurt ducks, and go behind and a german suplex...and he's holding on, and the fans..are booing?

JBL: Listen to this chant.

Fans: SAME OLD SHIT! SAME OLD SHIT! SAME OLD SHIT!

Kurt does his second...and then a third and the fans are booing, but Angle shrugs them off. Kurt irishwhips Vamp, then catches him and a belly to belly and as Kurt pulls the singlet gear down, the fans continue to boo him as he sets up for the Angle Slam. He uncoils and he goes for it and he got it!

Joey: Good night! This is how the last match ended, except it was from the top rope.

One.......two....thre....HE KICKS OUT! Angle is furious and slaps the mat, and then he's climbing the top rope...

Joey: Oh man...Kurt...Vamp's getting up!

Vamp pushes the top rope and Angle gets crotched, and Vamp climbs to the middle rope and punches Angle a couple times...and now he's setting him up for... a piledriver!? From the middle rope....HE HIT A PILEDRIVER FROM THE MIDDLE ROPE!

Joey: OH MY GOD! HIS NECK IS BROKEN! IT HAS TO BE!

The fans chant 'HOLY SHIT' at that moment as Vamp recovers from a minute, and then immeditely applys the 'State of Confusion'

JBL: TAP!

Tazz: *Has chocolate all over his face from the kit-kat* TAP!

Joey: Will he?

JBL/Tazz: YES!

Kurt reaches around for the ropes...he can't get to it...and...HE TAPS OUT!

Winner in about 10:09, Vampiro X!

No major aftermath as Vamp let's go of Angle after another good 10 seconds more of choking him out, and then lets him go as the fans are giving him a more positive reaction as they are hating Angle from his TNA stuff.

Joey: What a battle. What a surprising finish. I didn't expect Vamp to make Angle tap!

JBL: He's the uncrowned jewel, and it's a damn shame he hasn't held a belt yet.

Tazz: He has to be high up on a continder's list for any belt he sets his sites on.

[#HEEL Dark Lord]

Joey: What an opening match. Talk about a huge win, Vampiro X got a big time win.

Tazz: Things look on the up and up for him. I expect a lot of good things for him in he future.


KEN-NED-DY!!!!!



JBL: No way! Could it be?!?!


*Mr. Kennedy's theme song hits the P.A. as the crowd is cheering loudly*


Tazz: It seems that Wrestlemania is the biggest stage of them all, look at who is about to debut for XWA.



*Kennedy walks down the ramp, arrogance exuding from him as he enters the ring and motions to the rafters as his trademark microphone falls down to him*


Mr. Kennedy: Ladies and Gentleman, you are looking at the fastest rising star in all of wrestling, the most decorated wrestler to ever step foot inside of a wrestling ring.... MIIIISSSSTTTTTEEEERRRRRRRR KEEEENNNNNNNEEEEDDDYYYYYY!!!!!


Tazz: Shhh shhh, I love this part.



*Kennedy walks up to the turnbuckles and climbs up and holds both hands up as he brings the mic to his mouth once again*


Mr. Kennedy: KEN-NED-DY!!!!!!!


*Some strange Italian music hits the PA*



JBL: What the hell is this? Pizza Parlor time?


*Santino Morella walks down to the ramp as Kennedy begins to speak again*


Mr. Kennedy: You got to be freaking kidding me. This is my big debut here in XWA, and you make me face a Pizza eating loser such as this guy. Well, I tell you what chump, you will be another statistic of those who have been defeated by MIIISSSSTTTTEEEERRRRR KEEENNNNNNNEEEDDDYYY...... KEN-NED-DY.



JBL: Kennedy, what an adition to the XWA Roster.


*Santino makes it into the ring and the bell sounds*



Joey: Kennedy in his XWA debut takes on Santino here at Wrestlemania.



Kennedy walks up to Santino and slaps him across the face and then procedes to lift him up over his head.



JBL: Could it be.....



Kennedy backs up to the ropes and climbs up to the second tunrbuckle and yells out and procedes to flip over and give Santino the Green Bay Plunge.



Joey: OH MY GOD!!!!!!


Kennedy goes for the cover and gets the easy pinfall.



JBL: Kennedy sure made a statement, what a move, what a win, what a debut.



*After the match the lights dim and Kennedy is given the mic*


Mr. Kennedy: Here is your winner, XWA's hottest new star and future Hall of Famer.... MIIIISSSSTTTTTTEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR KEEEEENNNNNNNEEEEEDDDDDYYYYYYYYYY.........
KEN-NED-DY....... KEN-NED-DY KEN-NED-DY........ KEN-NED-DY..... KEN-NED-DY..... KEN-NED-DY



*Kennedy says his name one final time before his music hits and he makes his way to the back*

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

We are backstage where Kennedy, as arrogent as ever, walks with a big smile on his face knowing he indeed made an impact. Kennedy immeditely makes a sharp left as the camera crew follows him and he begins talking to none other than a man who will be in action real soon, CM Punk.

Kennedy: You see that? I've proved it to everyone already why I am indeed the fastest rising superstar in all the land, and I don't give a damn who I face...even if it is you...you will fall victim to the Green Bay P--

Punk, a bit pestered and angered by Kennedy's appearance, cuts him off immeditely.

CM Punk: Hold up a minute, first off, don't make this a Chi-town Green bay deal...Bears kicked the Pac's ass anyway, and second, don't be flapping your yap when to me you are just another one of those obnoxious arrogent assholes running around the locker room. You're just like Raven...hell right up his doormat. Why don't you kiss his ass like the rest of the Dead Pool and you can be his doorman.

Kennedy: Well, chump, all I can say is, I hope you choke like you did when we last met in that Money in the Bank ladder match tonight at the grandest stage of them all, and soon we will fight and the winner of the match will be MISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CM Punk: C...M...Punk!

Kennedy: KEN-NE-DY!

CM Punk leaves the locker-room, not taking his eyes off once from Kennedy until he's got a safe distance away from him.

[Wrestlemania bitches]

Quick result: In a back and forth match, where it was basicly 50/50 when it comes to offense, Kane defeated a bloody and nearly concussed RVD in 19 minutes to retain the Television title, but it isn't over in the ring as after Kane sets off his pyro...

[#HEEL Dark Lord]

*The lights go out in the arena as "Suck It Up" by Hed p.e. hits the P.A. system*


Joey: Is this Raven? He is not scheduled for his match right now.


Tazz: All the fans in attendence are getting an early glimpse of perfection, don't ruin it for them.


*Out of the smoke emerges the current XWA Champion Raven, and XWA women's champion Riot. Both of them walk hand in hand down the ramp as Kane looks on from the ring*


JBL: You have to wonder, what the champ is doing out here, with Kane still here.



Joey: I am sure we will find out.



*Raven carefully makes his way into the ring, locking eyes with the TV champion, he motions for a mic as he music fades out*


Raven: You know Kane, that was pretty impressive stuff, beating RVD is not an easy task. You know, me and the group were discussing some things during your match, and we were thinking. Dead Pool is the best group in the world, we have all the talent and brains in the world, but the one thing we seem to be missing is pure strength. So, we decided, how would you like to join the most elite group in the world, and become a legend in this industry?


Joey: He is askign Kane to join the Dead Pool, is he out of his mind?


Tazz: Kane should accept this offer, it's not everyday Raven allows people to join the group.


Raven: So what do you say Kane? Do you want to become a god, if you do all you got to do is shake my hand.


*Raven extends his hand to Kane, as he looks down and the crowd boos loudly*


Joey: I wonder what Kane is thinking.


*Kane slowly begins to extend his hand to Raven's and firmy grasps it as the crowd boos loudly*


JBL: This is surreal, Kane just joined Dead Pool?


Tazz: What a great day for XWA.


Joey: I think I am going to be sick.


Raven: So there you have it folks, we just became even more unstoppable we will.....


*As Raven is talking, Kane pulls his hand away and gives Raven a stiff uppercut sending him to the mat in a hurry as the crowd roars*


Joey: Kane didn't join Dead Pool!!!!


Tazz: He will regret this.


*As soon as Raven hit the mat Riot motioned to the ramp and out comes Rhino and Vampiro X of the Dead Pool and they hit the ring and surround Kane*


Tazz: I told you Kane made a big mistake in turning down the offer.



*With Kane surrounded, Rhino and Vampiro X charge at Kane and knock him to the mat with a swarm of kicks and stiff punches. Raven staggers and manages to get to his feet and grabs the mic from the mat*


Raven: You think you can just turn down an offer, then attack me and think we won't respond? You my friend are even dumber than you look, which is saying something. Consider this your farewell apperance. Rhino I want you to Gore this man straight to hell right now.



*Rhino goes to the opposite side of the ring as Raven and Vampiro X pick up Kane and line him up for the Gore. Rhino runs at full speed and Gores Kane in half sending him to the mat clutching his ribs.*



Joey: Those good for nothing bastards. Kane is defenseless.


Tazz: You can't say he did not deserve this.


Raven: Now, Vampiro, I want you to choke the breath out of this piece of trash, make him regret putting his hands on me.



*Vampiro walks up behind Kane and locks in the State of Confusion as Kane struggles to breath*


Joey: Enough is enough, they are ruining a great PPV.


JBL: They are like a pack of wild animals, together they will bring Kane down to their level.


*As Vampiro locks the hold in even tighter Raven once again begins to speak*


Raven: Do you like that Kane? DO YOU?!?! You could have made this easier on yourself if you had just said yes. You should have felt honored, you were recruited by the best in the business, but I guess you like being the big red loser. This will be the last time you are ever seen in XWA, I will make sure of it. Riot, could you be a dear and get me a chair please?



Joey: A chair? Someone please stop this, it's gone way too far.


Raven: That's right, choke him out, make him realize he is not as unstoppable as he thinks he is. You will regret this Kane, I will make sure of it.


*Riot slides back into the ring with a chair in hand and hands it to Raven*



Raven: This is it Kane, the end of the line, it is now time for me to show to you, and the entire world, that the most dominate man in XWA is not you, it's Me.


*Raven bends down and tells Vamp to let go of the hold. Raven grabs the right arm of Kane and procedes to put his arm inside the chair and makes sure it stays in place*


Tazz: It looks like Kane is about to pay the ultimate price.


Joey: Someone stop this crazy bastard, for Kane's sake.



Raven: Hold him still, all of you in attendence, watch closely, I am going to show you how much of a God I really am.



*Rhino kicks Kane a few times while he is down as he and Vamp hold Kane in place. Raven climbs up to the second rope and looks down at Kane and smiles madly*



Joey: You don't think.... he wouldn't.....



Tazz: Let me get my camera, I am sure this will be good.



*Raven jumps off the ropes directly onto Kane's arm as the chair seals shut causing him to scream out in pain*



JBL: The monster is being put to sleep... this is un-real. Kane is actually in pain.



Tazz: See, Raven really is a god.



Joey: This is disgusting.



Raven: Oh, what's the matter Kane, did I hurt your arm? Did we get a bruise? This is not close to being over.



*Raven climbs up to the second rope again and jumps off, once again landing on Kane's arm*



Joey: This is hard to watch.


Tazz: This is going to look nice on my Raven fan-site.


Raven: Have you had enough Kane? Do you regret ever turning down a good offer from us? I don't think you have.


*Raven climbs on the ropes again and jumps off, this time adjusting so all of his weight falls onto the arm of Kane, a loud crack can be heard as he lands and Kane rolls around the ring in agony*



Joey: OH MY GOD!!! They just broke Kane's arm. Those good for nothing assholes.


JBL: Is this happening? I am at a loss for words. Raven just broke the arm of Kane.... I am speechless. This is a big accomplishment for Raven, Kane is in bad shape.



Tazz: This is why Raven is our champion, he can cripple anyone, and he just proved it with Kane.



Raven: Well Kane, it looks like you are in quite a lot of pain. Doesn't feel good does it? Think back on all the people you have hurt in the past, this is just a small taste of it. I am sure you will think again before you step foot inside of my ring again.


*Raven grabs the chair and gives Kane a final shot in the arm, causing further pain as EMT's rush to the ring and attend to Kane..*



* I WANNA SEE YOU SUFFA!!!!!*



JBL: Now what is going on?



*As the strange music plays "Suffa" by Hed p.e. begins to play and out comes a man, similair to Truth, dancing down the ramp and enters the ring, and does a dance all around the fallen body of Kane.*



Raven: I should be honest with all of you, Kane was not our real recruit, this man right here is the newest addition to the Dead Pool family, ladies and gentleman, I give you Steel!!!



Joey: They tricked us all, and then ambushed Kane, those jackasses.



Tazz: I am going to get all these pics up on his site. Some of Steel too, he is a good dancer.



Raven: Let this be a lesson to all of you, never trust the Dead Pool, it will cost you in the long run.


*Raven smiles as Suck It Up hits the P.A. and the group poses in the ring as the crowd boos loudly, and exit the ring and walk back up the ramp as the EMT's are still attending to Kane*

[Wrestlemania motherfuckas]

After what had happened with the Big Red Machine, everybody is still in complete shock that the monster had been slayed. Soon, Motorhead's 'King of Kings' theme starts to play, and the GM comes out with the TV title over his shoulder.

Tazz: He isn't the TV champion! What an egotistical bastard...

Joey: I think he had to vacate the belt, Tazz.

Tazz: Oh...I knew that.

The GM slides under the ring, wearing a grey button up shirt, and grey pants...his business attire basicly, as he asks for a mic.

JBL: I think this has to do with Kane, guys.

The GM looks angerly toward the camera as he begins his tirade.

GM Iser: Raven...Vampiro...Rhino...Riot...and now Steel. Don't worry, I know your name, already. I can't let you do this. You took away one of the biggest draws in XWA, and because of this, I have no other choice but to do the following actions.

Joey: You don't think he'll strip Raven of his belt...that'd be great.

GM Iser: As of this moment, the TV title has been vacated due to injury. A match at our next PPV, Barely Legal, will determain our new champion, but don't worry. I promise you, Kane WILL be at Barely Legal wrestling...and he'll be facing the sell out, Rhino...in an old school street fight. No rules...just pinfall or submission only to win.

A 'You sold out' chant directed toward Rhino begins from the crowd. The GM lets the fans get the chant out of their system before he continues his speech.

Joey: Who will be in the TV title match?

JBL: I don't know if I want to be Rhino with an angry three hundred twenty pounder going for my head. I've fought him...not fun.

Tazz: Rhino has the Dead Pool as back-up, and who does Kane have? Nobody. Kane'll have his other arm broken, and the rest of his limbs.

GM Iser: Annoucement number two...and Steel, if you want to make an impact...then why don't we do this the old school way. I'll give you your debut match next week, as you will team up with B-Team member Zane as you will face America's Most Wanted in the opening contest....but that's not all...next week, the Tag titles will ALSO be on the line in our first of two main events. Edge and Christian will face the debuting team of Alex Shelley, and Chris Sabin.

Joey: Oh my God. We get some clash of styles in tag team action, guys.

JBL: Contrast of styles...but the smart money goes with the multiple time tag champions, Edge and Christian as they have Lance Storm...

Tazz: ...and the Dead Pool...with all their kick ass shirts and beanies.

GM Iser: ...and finally, the main event of that show, will be the winner of TLC...facing the winner of the submission match...for the Xtreme Wrestling Asylum championship of the world.

Joey: Woah! Talk about a bombshell...the GM certainly has dropped a huge one.

Tazz: He's on an ego-trip. He's in the TLC match...he sure SEEMS confident that he will win that match, but he won't.

[WM bitches]

Two quick results: Mickie James defeats Ashley in 9 minutes via a DDT*about 60/40 offense in favor of Mickie*, and immeditely after, Riot runs down and attacks Mickie to begin their women's title match. In 14 minutes*60/40 in favor of Riot*, Riot defeats Mickie after she passes out with her version of the Crippler Crossface.

[WM MFers]

Last two quick results: Edge defeated GM Iser in a ladder match thanks to help from the Canadian Revolution shoving the GM off the ladder and into a stack of tables. It was a 30 minutes brawl involving various weapons.

Raven defeated Dean Malenko via the Anarchy Lock in 20 minutes after more wrestling to retain the XWA Title.