|
|
Post by The Messiah of Human Torture on Mar 16, 2008 20:49:24 GMT -5
RaVen vs Colin DeLaney in a hardcore match
The Cutting Edge: Guest GM Iser...who will annouce who gets the next title shot offically.
Kane's return match...Kane vs BMW
TV title qualifyer 1: Stevie Richards vs Vito
TV title qualifyer 2: Zane vs Shelton Benjamin
Vampiro X and Raven vs Jeff Hardy
Booking revenge: Randy Orton/The Rock vs Randy Savage(Special appearance)
Edge vs RVD
|
|
|
|
Post by The Messiah of Human Torture on Mar 29, 2008 17:51:30 GMT -5
You think you know me!
Joey: Oh God...don't tell me we have to start the show with this man.
JBL: Show some respect, Joey.
*Edge comes out with the XWA championship belt around his waist and stops and his pyro goes off.*
Edge then runs into the ring, with all the Cutting Edge interview stuff set up in the ring with a couple of stools and some mics. Edge obviously picks one up.
Edge: Welcome to The Cutting Edge!
*The fans boo big time*
Edge: May-be I should just walk away so you scum-bags don't have the pleasure of listening to a true champion speak, and a true champion wrestle when I kick RVD's ass.
*The fans cheer that remark*
Edge: ...but that would make you dingbats happy...and my life won't be complete until you people are so pissed off, you begin to cry like a baby who just had his candy taken away.
*The fans chant 'Edge sucks'*
Joey: I agree.
JBL: Piss ant fans.
Edge: I haven't seen so many pathetic fans since the day I moved to America where they asked for my damn autograph.
*The fans BOO that remark*
Edge: With out further aduo, let me introduce my guest for this edition. He is a man who has more guts than brai--
*Diary of Jane begins to play as the fans cheer that Edge has been shut up for the moment*
Joey: Thank God.
JBL: Now it went from good to bad...
*The GM, wearing his 'GM' attire runs toward the ring and slides under the ropes and grabs a mic, to not waste any time.*
Iser: I've taken what I can hear from you and I can hear it no longer. I haven't heard so much shit come from a guy's mouth since Clinton denied that he didn't have a whore in the office.
Edge gets really pissed off as the crowd pops for the insult.
Edge: I could easily beat your ass right now. I beat your ass at Wrestlemania.
Iser: Cry me a river, wah-wah-wah. That was just one time, Edge...once in a blue moon...and somewhere sometime, I will be the one holding that title that you hold dear...but speaking of the championship...I am about ready to annouce your number one contender.
Edge: I seriously prey to god it isn't Colin DeLaney or BMW...they really scare me...*rolls eyes and mocks Colin and BMW getting cripple by clutching at his foot*
Iser: That's about as funny as finding out that Ashley made a sex tape with Matt Hardy.
Edge: ...and it took three damn months just to erase the memory of that never-was.
*Iser rolls his eyes*
Iser: I'm gonna make it brief...this man has just accepted a title shot at YOU, Edge...last time we were on the air...my back still hurts from his finisher, but no matter...I give you...Mr Vampiro X...
*So Cold begins to play as Vamp appears on the ramp getting a mixed reaction from the crowd*
Joey: God damn it, I just heard we gotta take a commercial break, but we'll be right back.
JBL: Gotta pay the bills like Mexicans fill the work force...
|
|
|
|
Post by The Messiah of Human Torture on Mar 29, 2008 18:36:15 GMT -5
*Vamp slowly walks to the ring as the fans continue a mixed reaction as Edge gets an even angier look on his face as the GM just gives him a glare. He rolls into the ring and picks up a mic.*
JBL: I honestly don't remember the last time I heard Vampiro speak, Joey.
Joey: I remember when they came together after they beat down Sting the following show...and they just talked and talked, and talked...
JBL: You act like it's a bad thing.
Joey: It is.
JBL: Your existance is a bad thing, so shut up and let them talk.
A minor silence follows as tension begins to rise before Edge breaks the silence.
Edge: Are you going to say something you glorified zombie? Cat got your tounge?
Vamp: You better watch on the television what I do to that crazed drug addict yank Jeff Hardy.
*The fans boo the fact that Vamp just ran down Jeff Hardy, after the booing ends, Vamp continues to speak*
Vamp: all I will say to you, though, is this... God have mercy on your soul...because I damn sure won't.
*This draws a huge pop from the crowd*
Edge: Shut the hell up you bunch of fickle sheep! That's all you do, when someone does something you like, you go BAH BAH, and kiss his ass.
*The fans begin an Edge sucks*
Iser: Techincally, Edge isn't the one who 'sucks'...
Edge: You---
*Gong*
Joey: What the hell?
JBL: It's gone dark in here! We need candles or something!
Joey: Did the GM forget to pay the electri--
*Gong*
Joey: Uh-oh...
*Purple light then illuminates the arena and then an explosion at the stage*
JBL: Oh my God...
*Undertaker makes an appearance...as he walks down the ramp, looking coldly toward the ring, and in particular the GM*
Joey: I don't like the looks of this.
Edge does the smart thing and bails out of the ring and then Vamp bails out on the other side, not wanting to risk a confrontation with The Undertaker. The GM stays however, wanting an answer to why Taker is in the ring. Taker then grabs the mic.
Taker: You gave a title shot...to Vamp? How dare you disrespect me by doing that, you little maggot.
Joey: Woah!
*The fans boo that insult toward the GM*
Iser: Go ahead and sue me...or better yet, stop boring us with the same crap you give us on a weekly basis up north.
Taker then turns his head and then clocks the GM with a big boot to the face knocking him down.
JBL: Bad move, kid...never verbally attack The Undertaker.
Joey: It might cost him his life.
*Taker then waits as the GM stumbles up and then Taker grabs him by the throat and chokeslams him to the floor as the fans begin to boo*
Joey: I can't remember the last time the fans have booed The Undertaker.
JBL: I don't think he gives a damn, Joey.
*Taker then picks up a groggy GM and then ends up drilling him with a Tombstone Piledriver*
Joey: Oh my God.
JBL: Message sender.
Undertaker then coldly looks at the fallen carcass and then drags the GM from the ring and up the ramp with one hand.
Joey: Somebody stop him.
JBL: You want to try, Joey?
Joey: No...but somebody has to...he jus--he just kidnapped one of the two general managers, John!
JBL: This could be a really bad omen for XWA, Joey...
|
|
|
|
Post by The Messiah of Human Torture on Mar 29, 2008 23:53:36 GMT -5
BMW is already in the ring.
Joey: This day has gone from bad to worse...the GM just got kidnapped, and now we got to deal with BMW...
JBL: I hope he doesn't live any longer.
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*
Kane's pyro just went off as Kane comes out to a huge pop from the crowd. His right arm is still bandaged, but it's a little shorter from last week's bandage. He slides under the ring as the fans begin a huge 'Kane' chant. BMW looks scared and can't move from fear.
Joey: If he had any brain-cells left from having to wear a dress, he better run.
JBL: We actually agree...oh my god.
*Kane grabs BMW by the throat, lifts him up and throws him down with a chokeslam with his right arm.*
Joey: Good lord, is that Rhino's fate? Is that the Dead Pool's fate?
JBL: God I hope not. Taker running around here is scary enough, but Kane to go with it? Oh my God.
*Kane then puts a boot over BMW and gets the win*
Joey: Oh my Go--
I'M BACK!
Joey: Damn it...
JBL: It's the Bisch.
*Bischoff appears on the stage*
Bischoff: Bravo, welcome back to the roster, Kane. I can't wait to do business with a man like yourself, but since one GM isn't here this week...I think I need to take it upon myself to book a match for two weeks, when Iser finally is cleared to compete from that concussion...it'll be Raven, Undertaker and Rhino competing against Kane, Iser, and Stevie Richards.
Joey: Woah!
Bischoff: ...and next week...it'll be just as good, as we got a huge singles match involving that man in the ring...it will be Kane...facing Zane in a street fight.
JBL: I think that's suicide for poor Zane considering the mood he is in right now.
Bischoff: So, pick up that mic Kane, and tell me what you think about that!
Kane looks over as the fans wonder what the big man will say...and grabs a mic and then walks up the ramp.
Joey: I think he wants to say this to Bischoff's face.
Bischoff smirks as the Big Red Machine walks over to him...with a mic in his left hand...suddenly, he grabs Bisch by the throat to the delight of the fans.
JBL: Not the other one!
Joey: I think the inmates are going to be running the asylum tonight at this rate.
Kane: You give me Rhino...no bones attached one on one...
Bisch: I--can't do that...I have an agreement with Raven not to book you against any major Dead Pool members in singles match
Kane just slams Bisch down on the stage with a thunderous chokeslam to a thunderous pop.
Joey: Oh my God!
JBL: Holy shit.
Kane: Rhino!!! You will have to do more than feel the pain I felt when you broke my arm...but I promise you...it will be a slow execution...and when you finally are gasping at your last breath...and then you get dropped on your head with the final tombstone...you will finally be put out of your misery.
*Kane leaves as his music plays, and the EMTs tend to Bischoff*
|
|
|
|
Post by The Messiah of Human Torture on Mar 30, 2008 18:57:25 GMT -5
Vito is already in the ring.
Joey: We've had two GMs on the shelf, and from what I hear, Mickie James will handle the rest of the show.
JBL: She's done fine on her own when called upon, but it's really chaotic now.
*I'LL SHOW YOU! YOU'LL SEE!*
JBL: A stable of extremely crappy wrestling...and the blue world order...with that fat idiot Blue Meanie.
Joey: What do you have against Stevie Richards?
JBL: He came from garbage wrestling...so his wrestling is garbage to me.
Stevie runs to the ring to a good pop, and then Vito trys to get a clothesline, but Stevie hits a stiff superkick to get a pop from the crowd.
Joey: Richards means business.
JBL: So? He's beating a guy in a dress...who cares?
Stevie then picks up a groggy Vito and hits him with the Stevie T and covers for the win.
Joey: Stevie Richards is now in the TV Title match in the PPV.
JBL: Yeah...real congratulations...
|
|
|
|
Post by #HEEL Dark Lord on Mar 30, 2008 20:08:45 GMT -5
"No More Words" by endeverafter hits the PA as the crowd roars
JBL: Here somes that rainbow haired moron.
Joey: You mean Jeff Hardy. He is set to face Raven and Vampiro X in a handicap match.
JBL: Jeff's odds of winning are up in smoke!
Joey: Oh please.
JBL: What is that? Looks like someone is running down the ramp. Make that two people.
Joey: Oh no, it's Raven and Vampiro X, The Disaster Duo.
JBL: You mean the Dead Pool. Looks like they are not waiting for Jeff to get in the ring, they are jumping him on the ramp.
Joey: What jerk's. Can't you wait for the bell.
JBL: Raven just launched Jeff into the steel steps. What impact.
Joey: You are making me sick, they ambushed Jeff plain and simple.
JBL: Stop your crying and pay attention to the match. See Joey, Jeff finally made it into the ring, even though Vampiro X tossed him into the ring.
Joey: Raven is using blatant closed fists, as he is pounding away at the defenseless Jeff Hardy.
JBL: Closed fists are allowed, this is Raven's rules, meaning anything goes.
Joey: You didn't have to remind me.
JBL: Vampiro X now seems to be choking the life out of Jeff. This is great.
Joey: Only you would find this great.
JBL: Now it's Raven's turn to choke the breath out of Matt.
Joey: Jeff can't do anything to protect himself, he is just getting destroyed.
JBL: Now what do they have planned. Vamp is lifting Jeff up in a sidewalk Slam.
Joey: Raven hits the reverse DDT, now they have to double team Jeff.
JBL: What great teamwork by the best group in history.
Joey: Just pin him already, get it over with!
JBL: Looks like Raven heard you, he is going for the pin.
Joey: Oh come on! He broke up his own pin, the fans didn't like that.
JBL: Who cares about them? I know they don't, nor do I.
Joey: Vampiro is getting Jeff to his feet, he can barely stand. Come on ref, end it.
JBL: What a brutal Dark Chaos, Jeff must have a broken rib, maybe two. Now Vamp is going for the cover.
Joey: Not again, he broke his own pin too. What sick bastards.
JBL: They are just showing how dominant they are.
Joey: We already know they are, spare us the example.
JBL: Jeff is really dazed, look at him, he can't even stand up straight without Vamp holding him up.
Joey: Please end it, Jeff is hurt bad.
JBL: Raven is being the bad guy they all love, stiff slaps to the face of Jeff. Gotta love it.
Joey: Raven is a glorified villian. What does he get out of tormenting others.
JBL: What a shot, Raven kicked Jeff downstairs and he is down on the mat. Dead Pool is showing no mercy tonight.
Joey: They always do that.
JBL: They are both helping Jeff to his feet, what a strong double irish whip, Jeff's back whiplashed off the corner turnbuckle, sending him to the canvas in a hurry. Jeff is on his last legs it seems.
Joey: Jeff never was on his feet, What are they doing now? Vamp is lifting his limp body up.
JBL: Raven is going to the corner, looks like he has something planned.
Joey: Raven charges at Jeff, OH MY GOD!!!!!
JBL: What a Chaos Theory!!!! That is all she wrote folks.
Joey: There is the pin. It's finally over.
Lillian: Here are your winners, Raven and Vampiro X! The Dead Pool!!!
*Raven and Vamp pose as Toxic by Crazy Town hit's the PA*
JBL: Jeff got his ass handed to him folks.
Joey: I am ashamed to be in the same company as those two. I really am.
Winners via pinfall: Raven and Vampiro X (10:00)
*Commercials*
|
|
|
|
Post by The Messiah of Human Torture on Mar 30, 2008 20:25:12 GMT -5
Joey: I am sickened by the way Dead Pool just carried themselves...and I said what I ment there, but we have a camera backstage. *We see Undertaker strapping something onto someone* Joey: Oh God... JBL: This CAN'T be good...I'm as big as a fan as Taker as anybody, but...  : OH YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Joey: No... JBL: It's.... Paul Bearer: Yes! My Undertaker has come back to his old form! Yes yes yes! Joey: No... Paul Bearer, back to the look that made him famous, is now standing beside Taker as they step away from camera to show the fallen GM, tied up to an Undertaker symbol. We then overhear a conversation between Taker and Paul. Taker: I've tried a-lot of things the past couple of hours...it just hasn't worked... Paul: You can think of something...can't yo-- Taker: Putting him six feet under for not giving me a title shot isn't good enough... Paul: So what are we gonna do about it? Taker then begins his evil maniacal laugh. Taker: We're gonna---(he whispers something to Paul) Paul: Alive? Taker: Yes...or threaten him with that until he gets the title shot, and if he doesn't...well...it'll be the last mistake he'll ever make in his life. Joey: They're gonna do what? JBL: I don't know! I'm not a mind reader, and it wasn't picked up on camera. Joey: Good God. They're tieing up the symbol to the top of the camera...get him out of there! JBL: Undertaker is possessed, Joey, and if the GM wants to keep his life, he might want to strip Vamp of his number one contender status, and give it to Undertaker... |
|
|
|
Post by The Messiah of Human Torture on Apr 9, 2008 22:17:21 GMT -5
Joey: My God, what is Undertaker going to do with Iser?
JBL: I know, Joey, I've been aligned with Taker when he's been in this state of mind...and it's a truely scary thing.
*SHUT THE FUCK UP!*
Joey: Here comes the leader of the B team of The Dead Pool. He might want to get off his rear end.
JBL: I know, if there's a weak end of The Dead Pool, then that would be it, but he's still capable of doing great things if he puts his mind to it.
*Zane Barron comes out to some middling heat from the crowd as he walks to the ring*
'AIN'T NO STOPPING ME NOW!'
The crowd gives the man a nice pop at the Debuting Shelton Benjamin.
Joey: I can't wait to see what Shelton Benjamin can do in the ring.
JBL: Zane needs to make a good impression here. May-be he'll be back on the A-Team!
Joey: Stop drinking their damn lies...
JBL: ...
Benjamin and Zane lock up. Benjamin gets the upper hand with a stiff knee and then a dropkick to the mush. Zane clutches at his face for a moment, then takes a swing, but Benjamin ducks and hits a t-bone suplex just like that. He then springs up the ropes as Zane staggers up, he hits his verison of the Complete Shot and covers Zane for the win.
Joey: Oh my GOD!
JBL: Wow...this will definately upset Raven even more.
Joey: Shelton Benjamin will face Stevie Richards for the Television title for sure...there might be more additions but who knows?
JBL: That will be an interesting match, but who will the fans cheer for?
Joey: Good question.
|
|
|
|
Post by The Human Cancer on Apr 14, 2008 18:45:41 GMT -5
*As XWA returns from a commercial break, Colin DeLaney is positioned in the ring, ready for his match with one of the newest members of the Revolution roster, RaVen. Then, as he is getting settled, "Come Out and Play" hits the PA, followed by boos from the crowd.*
Joey: It's clear these fans aren't happy with RaVen after recent events involving himself and CM Punk.
Taz: Clearly not; RaVen jumped the Straight Edge Messiah, and declared to cause him the pain and suffering that Punk has claimed to have in his lifetime.
Bret: CM Suck is a baby-back bitch. I mean, I saw him crying over someone spilling beer on his bag...
Taz: Man, what a pussy.
*RaVen emerges onto the stage, toting a kendo stick and dressed for battle. He struck the patented crucifix pose which drew even more heat from the crowd. RaVen made his way down the ramp and stopped at the base of it, giving Colin a cold, piercing stare. He hopped up onto the ring apron and slid himself between the top and second ropes; the ref directed him to his corner, and signaled for the bell*
*Ding!
Ding!
Ding*
Bret: Here we go! RaVen! Pound his ass more than it already has by Dreamer and BMW!
Joey: Really Bret? Gay jokes?
Taz: Shut up butt burglar.
Bret: HA HA!
*With the sound of the bell, Colin did not leave his corner; RaVen, however, closed in on DeLaney who was mouthing "Please don't hurt me" as he sheltered himself with his forearms. RaVen backed up a bit and gave Colin a swift crack on the top of the head with the kendo stick, which caused Colin to fly back towards the corner. RaVen wound up and hit him again, blood visibly running through his hair now. RaVen whacked him one more time for good measure and dropped down to roll to the outside of the ring. He reached under the apron, and pulled out a trash can, as well as a steel chair.*
Joey: I'll never understand why they leave all those weapons under there...
Taz: RaVen put them there.
Joey: Why?
Bret: BECAUSE THE HITMAN SAID SO!
Joey: Right...
*Raven tossed the chair and can over the top rope and followed them in. Colin had just cleared the cobwebs when he was met with a swift chair shot to the head. Colin collapsed, and RaVen moved the trash can to the center of the ring. Dragging DeLaney by his hair, RaVen set him up for an EvenFlow, quickly dropping the dead weight of Colin onto the trash can head first. Getting to his feet quickly, RaVen struck the crucifix pose once again to the dismay of the crowd.*
Joey: Pin him already damn it!
Taz: Why? This is fun to watch!
Bret: FINISH HIM!
*As RaVen had his back to the crowd, CM Punk, in street clothes, hopped the barricade and ran into the ring. The crowd's jeering of RaVen quickly flipped into cheers for Punk; RaVen realized this a bit too late, as he turned around, CM Punk lifted him onto his shoulders and dropped him with a GTS. With a smirk, Punk dragged the fallen DeLaney onto RaVen and demanded the ref to count...
1!
2!
3!
The ref's hand hit the mat for the third time, but looked up to see RaVen's foot on the bottom rope.*
Bret: The element of surprise sometimes works; it will never work if you're CM Punk though...
Joey: I regret asking... But why?
Bret: STEROIDS!
*The sound of Bret rattling papers and assorted items on the announcer's table in a similar fashion to The Ultimate Warrior's rope shake muffles the mics, as Colin falls back onto his knees in surprise. RaVen, being ever-ring weary, reached up and caught Colin in a cradle.
1!
2!
3!
Ding! Ding! Ding!
This time there was no foot on the rope, and RaVen had pinned Colin. He threw Colin to the side, and sat up, using the bottom and second ropes for support. With a surprise look in his eyes, CM Punk took off out of the ring in a flash, and headed up the ramp.*
Bret: That's right, run away you bitch! Viva La Resistance!
Joey: Gimme a break...
Taz: Ok!
*Taz reached across, and gave Joey a right hook to the nose, which popped loudly in the mic.*
Joey: Ow!
Bret: Next up is Edge vs. RVD... A proud Canadian vs. someone who eats maple syrup out of the bottle when he has the munchies, NEXT!
|
|
|
|
Post by The Messiah of Human Torture on Apr 14, 2008 21:05:11 GMT -5
Quick result: Rock/Orton beat Randy Savage via a Rock Bottom and a RKO.
|
|
|
|
Post by The Messiah of Human Torture on Apr 18, 2008 19:37:16 GMT -5
'ONE OF A KIND!'
The fans pop huge for RVD who is coming down the ramp and doing his thumb pointing taunt.
Joey: My face still hurts from being punched there...
Tazz: Just following orders from Eric Bischo--
Joey: Bitchoff...should've known...damn that anti-christ to hell.
Tazz: ...no comment.
*RVD walks to the ring awaiting the XWA champ, all business*
'You think you know me'
The fans begin to boo immedietly and loudly at the XWA champ who emerges from the smoke with Ashley by his side and the XWA championship over his shoulder.
Joey: Here comes the XWA champ, Edge...
Tazz: The Rated R Superstar sure is making himself known as a hell of a champio---
*As soon as Edge approaches the ring looking at the fans talking smack, RVD dives over the top rope with a flip taking out Edge which brings the crowd to it's feet.*
Joey: AIR VAN DAM!
Tazz: I didn't expect RVD to push the risk button already.
RVD begins to go to work on Edge on the outside with a couple kicks and then an irish whip...Edge reverses, but RVD jumps on the stairs and then goes to moonsault Edge, but Edge side steps...Van Dam lands on his feet, but meets a clothesline from Edge.
Joey: What a heated exchange between two of the best XWA has to offer on the outside.
Edge throws Van Dam in the ring and Edge slides in and the bell rings to offically begin the match.
Joey: Finally, a bell!
Edge gives RVD a stiff sounding boot as Van Dam gets to his knees and then goes for a quick cover...one count only. Edge then goes for that big boot again, but Van Dam ducks and back kicks Edge in the other leg to knock him down and then a moonsault splash on Edge.
Joey: Van Dam getting the advantage.
RVD with a short leg drop on Edge and then he picks the Rated R Superstar up and goes for a super kick, Edge ducks and then kicks RVD in the gut and has RVD up for a suplex and then drops him face first onto the mat.
Tazz: God, I love suplexes...that was pretty there.
Edge then rubs the sole of his boot against RVD's face as the fans boo.
Joey: What an ass.
Tazz: He might do that to you, too, Joey...which I would laugh at...and point.
Joey: We got to take a commercial to pay the bills thanks to Bischoff's horrible banking skills.
|
|
|
|
Post by The Messiah of Human Torture on Apr 21, 2008 22:48:03 GMT -5
Edge keeps the advantage by using his dirty moves like eye pokes and following up with a big boot. Edge does make a mistake and irish whip Van Dam who springs to the top rope and hits his kick on Edge from there. Van Dam then hits all his signature offense, but when he goes for the five star, Ashley pushes Van Dam off and as soon as RVD gets back up, he gets speared and that's all she wrote.
|
|
: OH YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
