Revolution

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

Kane's pyro goes off to kick off the show. He gets high-level heel heat.

Joey: Welcome to Revolution, and what a way to kick off the show with the Big Red Machine, Kane!

~Camera cuts to people who are scared shitless of him~

JBL: This is John Bradshaw Layfield subing for Tazz this week, who is working on Raven's new DVD.

Joey: Oh God...

JBL: We see one of the toughest men straight up pound-for-pound coming to the ring, in Kane. He will kick your ass for blinking.

Batista gets new remixed jobber music(Think of Sharkboy's, but more of a metalic theme to it) Batista slips on the entrance ramp to make the fans chant 'YOU FUCKED UP!' at him.

JBL: I wonder how many steriod shots he took. I think he's been in contact with Berry Bonds for roids, and with Michael Cole to show that he still has a big dick.

Joey: ~Laughs histerically at JBL's joke~

Batista gets in and gets chokeslamed and pinned for the easy three.

Joey: Oh my...Kane just killed Batsita.

JBL: You surprised?

Joey: No.

JBL: Damn right you aren't.

~Commericals...promoting the Raven DVD...regular promotion this time~

[#HEEL Dark Lord]

Lillian Garcia: The following contest is an "I Quit" rematch and is for the XWA Women's title, in this match you must beat your opponent till they can no longer compete.



JBL: This is a rematch of Barely Legal where Riot killed Candice Michelle, tonight will be the same.



Joey: No need to remind me.



*Candice's music plays as she gets no reaction at all*



Lillian: Introducing the challenger, from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Candice Michelle!!!


JBL: You know, something seems odd about her, oh yeah, it's her ugly mug!!!



Joey: How about a little bit of respect?


*Candice gets in the ring and does her Go Daddy dance*



JBL: I have seen Elephants move better than that.


Joey: How insulting, why are you my partner?



JBL: Cause I am the ANNOUNCING GOD.



*What I Always Wanted by Kittie hits the PA and smoke pours out the entrance ramp*



Lillian: Introducing the opponent, from Los Angeles California, she is the current reigning and defending XWA Women's Champion, The Queen of Extreme, Riot!!!!!



*Riot emerges through the smoke and holds the title up high as the crowd boos loudly*



JBL: The Queen, it's been a while since I have seen her last at the No Mercy PPV.



Joey: Oh yeah, another person who cheats, how can they be champions?



*Riot slides in the ring and gloats as the crowd continues to boo. She hands the ref her title and warms up as her music fades*




Candice wanting to get a quick start runs at Riot and goes to attack, but Riot sidesteps it and Candice goes face first into the turnbuckle.





JBL: What a dumb broad. We need a sign that says Dumb Broad on Board... HAHAHAHAHAHA



Joey: Oh lord.




With Candice out cold, Riot picks her up and plants her with a stiff DDT. Picks her up and does it again.



JBL: What impact, Candice must be dumber than an asian nerd at at hip hop concert.



Joey: Nice analogy.




Riot slides out the ring and grabs a chair, and procedes to smash the chair in Candice's face over and over, till her nose starts to bleed.




JBL: What a women, Raven has a keeper.



Joey: Enough is enough.




Riot grabs a mic and doesn't even need to wait as Candice screams that she quits and the bell is rung.




Lillian Garcia: Here is your winner and Still XWA Women's Champion, Riot!!!!!!




Riot's music plays as the crowd boos loudly once again, but instead of leaving she picks up Candice and gives her the Broken Halo on the steel chair.




JBL: What an exclamtion point to a brutal match. Hey internet fans Shift+1=! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA



Joey: Oh dear, internet remarks, god help us all.



JBL: Raven pwns them cyber geeks.




Riot then tosses Candice out the ring and does Raven's pose on the ramp as Golden Pyro falls down as she makes her way to the back.




JBL: She is Greatness.




Winner and Still XWA Women's Champion: Riot (2:23)




~Commercials plugging Raven's dvd air, normal commercials~

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

A re-mix type of music plays for Cade/Murdoch and they come out to little heat at all.

JBL: What the hell!? That fat-fuck Murdoch has more blubber than a beached blue-whale!

Joey: He's a fat-ass, isn't he?

JBL: Damn right he is! Only Michael Cole would go out with him because he's Dusty Rhode's boy, so he can bang Dusty too! The gay ass whore...

They enter the ring.

'Scream' plays and the fans explode with cheers.

Joey: Here comes the GM, first match back from knee injury. We'll see if he has any ring rust.

JBL: He has a knee brace, that might negate some speed, and this isn't the best match for a first match back.

The GM ducks a closeline and rolls Murdoch up in a small package to pin and eliminate him!

Joey: Oh my God!

JBL: He's fat, stupid, lazy, and now he just got punked...later redneck moron, go back to the jiffy-lube!

The GM ducks a Cade lariet, and then superkicks Cade and pins him easily for the 1-2-3.

Winner: GM Iser

Joey: The GM looked VERY impressive here.

JBL: The GM'll be a tough match for even Raven. It'll be a hell'va fight.

~Normal Commercials for Raven's DVD again~

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

We see Sting~Getting the surprise pop, but not the biggest so far~, who hasn't been in an XWA in a long time, with his back still bandaged, and gingerly moving in the ring with a mic. Before he can speak, we see a figure stand behind him and tap his shoulder, Sting turns around and gets RKOed!

Joey: Randy Orton strikes again.

Tazz: The legend killer adds another legend!

Randy Orton: Another legend...DEAD!(He spits on Sting and leaves to the biggest heel heat of the night)

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

Joey: We have something going on backstage.

Backstage we see Sandman drinking a beer and bashing it over his own head.

Joey: Vintage Sandman.

JBL: I think I could beat him in a drinking contest, though.

Edge, Christian, and Orton all of a sudden attack and lay the boots to him.

Joey: What the!?

JBL: Taking it to Sandman before Survivor Series..this is smart.

Orton RKOs Sandman on the hard floor.

Joey: Oh my God!

JBL: That'll be a concussion.

Edge: Get this son of a bitch up!

Christian grabs two chairs, and hands one to Edge, Orton picks Sandman up.

Joey: No...

Edge and Christian give Sandman a Con-chair-to.

JBL: Oh my God.

Joey: Sandman might have a concussion.

The three heels leave Sandman laying.

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

Sabu comes out to a minor pop.

Joey: Sabu has yet to win a match in XWA.

JBL: That's cause he's a has-been.

Vampiro X sneaks in from behind and applys the State of Confusion on Sabu who taps almost immeditely.

Winner: Vamp.

JBL: and that's why he's a has-been.

Vamp then grabs a chair and hits Sabu's ankle with it and applys Kurt's ankle lock with Sabu tapping out on the chair.

Joey: Stop him! Somebody get him off Sabu!

JBL: No, don't. I'm enjoying this. Sabu's tapping out faster than Kamala taps his belly.

Vamp leaves to the heel heat to the point where fans are throwing trash at him.

~Commercials promoting Raven's DVD, and the Dead Pool beanie~

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

Matt Striker is in the ring.

Striker: What happened there was completely stupid.

Fans chant 'BORING'

JBL: This guy is a bigger cunt than Britney Spears.

RVD comes out to shut him up.

Striker: What do you want?

RVD: Dude, you need to lay off the mic because your stinking up the joint.(Fans laugh and cheer)

Joey: Striker got dissed.

JBL: Yup, though RVD is no Raven on the mic...

Striker: I tell you what, you find a partner, and you can take on all of DEMOTED at the Survivor Series PPV.

RVD: Already have.

Rhino comes out to a HUGE pop and runs to the ring and gives Striker a GORE!

Joey: GORE! GORE! GORE!

JBL: That's how you make an electric return.

RVD climbs the top rope.

Joey: Van Dam's feeling froggy!

RVD frogsplashes Striker, and Rhino and RVD celebrate in the ring and then drag Striker out of the ring and out of the arena.

[Quick match poster]

Quick match result: Thanks to an Ashley distraction, Edge pins Jeff Hardy after a spear.

[#HEEL Dark Lord]

JBL: It is time for the main event, and it's gonna be huge.



Joey: That's right, The Rabid Wolverine Chris Benoit will go toe to toe with the XWA Champion Raven, in this non-title bout.




JBL: Just think, all you people get to see this high quality match for free!!! What a world we
live in.



*Chris Benoit's music hits as the crowd pops huge*



Lillian: The following contest in scheduled for one fall, introducing first, now residing in Atlanta, Georgia, weighing in at 230 pounds, Chis Benoit!!!!



*Benoit walks down to the ring while the crowd continues to cheers.*



Joey: Benoit is such an outstanding wrestler, he will give Raven all he has.


JBL: Yes, but Raven will do the same, two of the top talents in XWA are about to face off, I can't wait.




*The lights go out and Swan Dive by Hed (p.e.) hit's the P.A. as the crowd starts too boo loudly*




Lillian: And the opponent, from Toronto Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 215 pounds, he is the XWA World Heavyweight Champion, The Virus of Life, Raven!!!!




*Raven emerges from the smoke along with Riot and strikes the Crucifix pose as a waterfall of golden pyro falls down behind them as the crowd gets louder with boos.*




JBL: I see that the Queen is coming out with Raven, after she beat the hell out of Candice.



Joey: Where have you been? Wherever Raven is, Riot is sure to follow.




*Raven slides into the ring and does the Crucifix on the turnbuckles as Riot opts to stay at ringside instead of sitting at the announce table, Raven gets down hands the ref his belt and stretches as his music fades*




JBL: This match is non-title folks, just a quick reminder.



Raven and Benoit make their way to the center of the ring and lock-up both trying to get advantage in the tie-up, Benoit gets the upper hand and pushes Raven to the opposite corner as the ref asks for a clean break as Benoit gives him one.



Joey: You can feel the energy of this match.



JBL: How do you figure, they just did a lock up.





Both men lock up again, this time Raven gets the advantage and gets Benoit in the corner as the ref asks for a clean break, Raven breaks the tie-up and gives him a cheap pop to the face.





JBL: HAHA! Always thinking the champion.




With the advantage, Raven just punches away on Benoit as the ref is telling him to stop.





Joey: What a bully.



Raven picks up Benoit who fights back and nails some stiff chops as the crowd wooooooooos along with them.




JBL: Those chops sting like hell.



As Benoit chops away at Raven, he throws in a headbutt in-between chops and hits a huge snap suplex, as the crowd roars with the offense he is showing.



Joey: Benoit is on fire, Raven is in trouble.


JBL: Don't count the champion out just yet.



With Raven on the mat recovering, Benoit locks in an armbar, applying pressure to the right arm.




JBL: If he takes out the right arm, he takes out a lot of Raven's offense.



Joey: Including the dreaded Chaos Theory.



Benoit wrenches back, but Raven manages to pull himself to the ropes, much to the dismay of the crowd. As Benoit goes to lift Raven manages to rake the eyes of Benoit and knocks him down with a strong lariat.




JBL: Once again, Raven gets the opening he was looking for.



As Benoit is down, Raven locks in a Camel Clutch, working on the back and neck of Benoit.




Joey: Raven showing he can use submissions as well.



JBL: Of course he can, he is the Franchise of XWA as Tazz would say.



The crowd cheers to will Benoit to get to the ropes but Raven sits back and really wrenches on the neck of Benoit. The crowds cheers get louder and Benoit manages to get to the bottom rope forcing Raven to break the hold, which he does not do until he is at the count of four.




JBL: Typical Raven, using each second to inflict more pain on Benoit, such a smart champion.



Raven takes the time to gloat to the crowd who boo instantly and start a "Raven Sucks" chant.



Joey: Crowd showing how much they appreciate him.


Benoit picks up Benoit and slips behind him and nails him with a German Suplex.



JBL: MInd games, Raven used one of Benoit's own moves against him.



Raven rolls through and goes to give him a second German Suplex, but Benoit blocks it and nails Raven with a back elbow and then nails him with a german suplex, locks the arms and hits three more in a row.




Joey: That is how you do a german suplex.



Benoit looks to the crowd who cheer as he slashes his throat with his hand and signals for the diving headbutt.



JBL: If Benoit hits the headbutt it will all be over.



Benoit gets to the top and leaps off, but Raven manages to get out the way at the last second making Benoit crash face first into the canvas as both men are down.



JBL: This is where stamina comes into play, who has more in the tank?



*Instant replay of the Benoit diving headbutt attempt*



Joey: Folks, I am getting word that we need to take our final commercial break, this match will continue right after this.




*Commercials airing for the Raven DVD, It shows clips of interviews with JBL, some of the GM himself and Benoit. The DVD will be out soon*

[#HEEL Dark Lord]

Back from commercials we see Raven nail a huge DDT and gets a near fall on Benoit.



Joey: Welcome back to Revolution, Raven has been in control all during the commercial break, ending with that DDT you just saw.




JBL: This has been a great match, would not suprise me if we see them fight at a big PPV.




As Benoit is down from the DDT, Raven uses this time to catch his breath and plan out his next series of attacks. As Raven approaches Benoit, he is caught in a small package as he gets an extremley near fall.



JBL: Benoit nearly had Raven beat.


Both meh struggle to get to an upright position as they begin to trade right hands back and forth.



Joey: Who will get the upperhand?



As Benoit lands a right hand, Raven tries to outsmart him and goes for a kick to the midsection but Benoit catches the leg and gives him a dragon screw and goes to lock in the Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring.



Joey: Sharpshooter!!!! Sharpshooter!!!! Will Raven tap?!?!



Raven is screaming in agony as Benoit locks in the hold even more tightly as the crowd chants for Raven to tap out.




JBL: Fight it champ, fight it.




Raven is trying to reach the bottom rope as the ref is checking to see if the hold has been broken, while he is checking the hold, Riot grabs Raven's arm and puts it on the bottom rope as the crowd boos loudly.



Joey: Oh come on.


JBL: Smart move, since the ref did not see it he is none the wiser.



The ref notices Raven's hand is on the bottom rope and he tells Benoit he needs to break to break the hold. Benoit sees this and is outraged and he goes to argue with the ref.



Joey: This must be a first, Benoit yelling at the ref.



As Benoit argues with the ref Raven manages to get up and spins Benoit around and hits a quick Chaos Theory.



JBL: CHAOS THEORY!!!!! That has to be it.



Joey: No, not this way!!!



Raven goes for the cover, but somehow at the lats second possible, Benoit manages to get a shoulder up as the crowd roars.



JBL: That was so close.




*Instant replay of the Chaos Theory*




Raven is seething and is in the ref's face, suddenly Scream is heard over the P.A.




JBL: What the hell is going on now?


The GM is shown on the ramp as the crowd cheers loudly.



Joey: It's the GM.


JBL: No kidding.



Raven sees the GM and immedeatly invites him into the ring trying to goad him down the ramp, but the GM just stands their and smirks as we see Benoit get up and roll Raven up and gets the three count.



Joey: BENOIT DID IT!!!!!!! RAVEN HAS FINALLY BEEN DEFEATED!!!!



Lillian: Here is your winner, Chris Benoit!!!!!!



JBL: What has just happened? This is the biggest travesty I have ever seen in my life, how does this make you people happy?




Benoit is in the ring celebrating his huge win as the crowd cheers madly.



*Instant replay of the roll up as Benoit is the first person to ever pin Raven in XWA*



Joey: What a moment in XWA.



Raven is shown in the ring pure rage on his face as the GM runs into the ring and knocks him back down to the mat as he grabs a chair that he was holding and is set to bash in Raven;s knee.



Joey: Do it GM!!!!! DO IT!!!!!!



The crowd cheers him on but the GM is intercepted by a huge Spear from Edge as the crowd boos loudly.




JBL: The pact coming into effect, Edge has Raven's back.



After the Spear Edge helps Raven up as he and Orton put the boots to the GM while Riot gets into the ring and Low blows Benoit.



Joey: Oh for the love of.... Stop it.




Raven picks up the chair that the GM had and procedes to nail Benoit all over with the chair in a rampage, with the final chair shot over the head.



JBL: Raven is sending a message to Benoit.



On the other side of the ring Orton nails the GM with an RKO as Raven gives Benoit a one man con-chair-to to the unconsious Benoit.




Joey: They are ruining a great moment, those no good bastards.



With Benoit out cold, Raven gets down and yells in Benoit's ear that it was a fluke win and that it will never happen again.



Raven poses with his title over the fallen body of Benoit as Swan Dive hits the P.A. as the four of them leave the ring happy with the destruction they have caused.




JBL: What a fitting way to end Revolution, Benoit may have won the match, but he has not won the war, for Joey, I am JBL, goodnight everybody.




Winner via Pinfall: Chris Benoit: (26:00)






*Show Ends*