No Mercy

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

Chase and Christian vs Homicide and Regal

Morrison and Miz vs MCMG for the Tag Team Titles

RVD vs Zane Barron

XWA Title Match under submission only rules...Dead Pool and The Family are banned: CM Punk vs Raven

The ultimate grudge match: Edge vs GM Iser in Hell in a Cell

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

The usual pyro before No Mercy.

JR: Boomer Sooner! Welcome to No Mercy!

Tazz: I don't have mitts to deal with... I have a lard ass!

*Suddenly, the PA system goes off and a voice shouts 'I LOVE GAY PORN!*

JR: What the hell?

Tazz: Is that Oklahoma's new music?

*The debuting Phillip walks through the curtain as the guy doing the music shouts 'I'm a CUM GUZZLING DYKE!' as the fans laugh at him.*

JR: What a moron!

Tazz: I don't know what to say but...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

JR: Epic Lawlz.

Tazz:

*Phillip enters the ring as the guy shouts that Phillip loves sausage and then it switches to generic music*

JR: Who is this now?

*Teddy Hart sprints through the curtain and does a standing backflip as the fans sit on their hands. Hart even shouts that 'Raven ain't got noth'n on me! I'm the best flyer in the land!'*

Tazz: This kid is nothing more than a punk. I don't know who to root for so I'm going to sleep. Wake me up when something interesting happens.

JR: But I...

Tazz: *Snore*

JR: You can't...

Tazz: *snore*

JR: He's drooling.

Tazz: *snore*

*Teddy enters and the two lock up. Phillip goes to suplex Teddy, but completely botches it and falls on his butt and Teddy just lands on his feet.*

JR: I think Phillip just threw him in what looked like a...bowling shoe ugly suplex.

Tazz: *Snore*

*Teddy then springs onto the top rope and does a moonsault and misses Phillip. Nobody reacts.*

JR: and a moonsault...that got canvus.

Teddy: I gotta do another one! The fans aren't pleased!

*Teddy springs to the top and does another one and over shoots Phillip who looks on confused and the fans then get restless and start booing*

JR: The fans are getting...angry.

Fans: YOU BOTH BLOW! YOU BOTH BLOW! YOU BOTH BLOW! YOU BOTH BLOW! YOU BOTH BLOW!

JR: I can't repeat that chant.

Tazz: *Snore*

JR: Tazz would, but I guess it's a good thing he's sleeping.

*Teddy then locks up with Phillip. Phillip attempts a drop toe hold, but fails to hook Teddy's leg. Teddy then does a moonsault and misses Phillip. Phillip then gets up and attempts a headlock but he doesn't even get it on properly and Teddy squeezes out with ease as the fans boo that exchange.*

JR: This is a very...ugly match up.

*ALL HAIL THE DARK LORD! HE IS HERE!*

JR: Uh-oh.

Tazz: *Wakes up* MY MAN! About time he graced us to end this crap!

*The fans begin a 'Raven's gonna kill you chant as Raven sprints into the ring, with Hed PE's 'Suck it Up' playing in the background, armed with a chair. Teddy jumps onto the top rope, but before he can dive off, Raven throws the chair at Teddy's face and he hits the ring mat with a splat as the fans gasp. We see some blood ooze out of Teddy's skull.*

Tazz: What a shot! Oh my God. Teddy's already bleeding. I'm starting to love this action!

*Raven then enters the ring as Phillip picks his nose in the corner. Teddy gets on all fours and Raven simply kicks Teddy right in the skull. Punt kick style*

Tazz: HEAD TRAUMA! HEAD TRAUMA!

JR: Good lord.

*Phillip stops picking his nose to stare at Raven, who has re-armed himself with the chair. Phillip goes to shake his hand as Raven just angerly glares at him. The fans start chanting 'DIE PHILLIP, DIE!' quite loudly. Raven just turns his head and clocks Phillip between the eyes with a vicious chair shot that splits him open immedietely.*

Tazz: Oohhhhhhhhhhh, that was nasty!

*Phillip doesn't appear to be moving as Raven simply sets the chair up at Phillip's throat*

JR: Oh my...now this is crossing the line, Raven.

Tazz: Who cares? Break his neck!

*Raven actually steps onto the top rope as the fans chant 'BREAK HIS NECK!' quite loudly*

JR: DON'T DO IT! You might regret this for the rest of your life! You'll break the man's neck!

Tazz: So?

*Raven lets out an evil smile as he jumps off and stomps on the leg of the chair and Phillip's throat is crushed in one swift motion. He stops moving so much and blood oozes out of his throat. The EMTs run immedietely and put the two wrestlers on stretchers. Then, something we haven't seen in a long time happens. The fans throw Sonics' wrappers toward the strechered men as Raven points and laughs at their misery.*

JR: Oh my God...I think CM Punk is in huge trouble.

Tazz: I agree. Raven is not the kind of man you want to make angry. He might be laughing now, but deep inside, you know he's filled with rage.

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

Chase and Christian defeated Homicide and Regal in a thirteen minute match. Homicide and Regal focused their attacks on a weakened Christian early...targeting the head. Soon, Christian was able to come back after Homicide irish whipped Christian to the ropes and Christian was able to do a tornado DDT. Chase and Regal tagged in and Chase just went crazy with vicious clotheslines, knee lifts, and a couple of suplexes on Regal. Soon, Regal attempted the knee trembler, but Chase moved and dropped Regal with the Dark Chaos for the win.

Morrison and Miz defeated the Machine Guns in 10 minutes to become the tag champions. It was a similar match where as Sabin got beat up the early goings by Morrison and Miz. Soon, Sabin hit a hurricaranna on Miz, and Morrison and Shelley became the legal men. Shelley cleaned house on both men for the next couple of minutes until Morrison raked Shelley's face. Sabin with a blind tag and he hit a cross body on Morrison. Miz attempted to skull crushing finale on Sabin, but Sabin countered into a head sissors that sent Miz out of the ring. Morrison did hit his Moonlight Drive neckbreaker and won the tag belts for his team.

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

*The camera cuts backstage where we see GM Iser, in his golden ring gear, walk toward a dark hallway. He then enters a door, and suddenly, the area around Iser becomes illuminated in purple light.*

Iser: Everything's going according to plan.

*A long pause is heard.*

Iser: I know...when the time comes, you will know what to do.

*A second long pause follows. Iser soon gets a sadistic grin on his face*

Iser: I see...by your leave, I shall proceed.

*The purple light vanishes and Iser notices the camera and then slams the door shut*

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

Zane is already in the ring not getting any reaction.

*ONE OF A KIND!*

The fans explode for RVD as he walks down to the ring

JR: Who the hell is Iser talking to?

Tazz: I think he's finally lost it.

RVD climbs to the top rope and does his signature thumb pointing taunt. Zane shouts at Rob that he is showing no respect. Soon, RVD leaps off and kicks Zane in the mouth.

JR: What a martial arts kick!

Tazz: I think that's it.

*RVD soon covers Zane for the easy win*

JR: Mr. Money in the Bank with another win.

Tazz: He is really building some nice momentum for whenever he chooses to challenge Raven again, but it won't matter.

JR: Who knows Tazz...Raven's always had trouble with Rob.

Tazz: At least initally, but after the inital rush, once you figure out his style, he's very beatable. That's what I did in ECW, and that's what Raven has done.

[#HEEL Dark Lord]

Lilian: The following contest is a Submission match, and is for the XWA World Heavyweight Championship!


*This Fire Burns by KillSwitch Engage begins to play as the fans begin to boo loudly*


JR: Here is the man that is trying to end the run of Raven. We know Punk is diverse with submission holds, so is he the man who can end Raven's run?


Tazz: Of course not. Coming from a submission expert as myself, Raven knows some good holds. I predict this will be an old-school paced match, with lots of good holds.


*Punk enters the ring and does his X Pose as the fans boo him louder*


JR: We saw Raven earlier, and he demolished both Phillip and Teddy Hart. One has to wonder how Raven will deal with Punk here.


Tazz: All I can say is, I am glad I am not CM Punk right now.




ALL HAIL THE DARK LORD!!! HE IS HERE!!



*The Lights dim as Suck It Up by Hed p.e. begins to play with the smoke pouring out the entrance ramp. The crowd cheers the loudest of the night. Out through the smoke emerges the current XWA World champion, decked in his official XWA shirt, Raven hops around a bit, as he loosens his muscles. He begins his trek down the ramp and pauses in the middle, looking side to side at the sold out crowd, who continues to cheer. Looking straight ahead, he raises the devil horns and looks upwards as a barrage of pyro and fireworks go off behind him.*



Lilian: And the opponent, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 215 pounds, he is the current reigning and defending XWA World Heavyweight Champion, The Dark Lord, Raven!!!!




*Raven rushes under the ropes and Slides in the ring. He walks to the corner and climbs up, raising the Devil Horns above his heads and the crowd continues to cheer*



JR: Raven is looking to keep his perfect Pay Per View record in tact, with a win over CM Punk. Raven is a big time superstar, and does best when the lights are shining bright.


Tazz: He can also win with no electricity on!


*Raven hops down and hands the ref his title as he grabs the top rope and stretches as the bell rings*


*Raven and Punk lock up in the middle of the ring as Raven gets Punk into a side headlock*


JR: I would expect a lot of holds to be exchanged.

*Raven does a go behind and gets Punk in a rear armlock*


Tazz: Smart, try and wear down body parts early on.

*Punk gets out of the hold and gets Raven in a side headlock.*


JR: Get used to it folks, I am sure this pace will be all throughout this match.



*Punk takes Raven over with a Headlock takeover and continues to keep the hold locked in. Raven breaks out of the hold and gets Punk in a rear chinlock*


Tazz: Raven is keeping the pace with Punk.


*The ref asks Punk if he had enough, which Punk shouts "NO" Raven wrenches in the hold as the crowd begins a Raven chant*


JR: Seems like the crowd appreciate the old-school vibe.


*Punk gets to his feet and flips Raven down to the mat and locks in a side armbar*


Tazz: More good holds, it could go on a while.


*Punk pulls back as he yanks on the arm as the ref cautiously watches on*


JR: Good lord, he might break his arm.



*Raven squirms his way out of the hold and gets Punk in a modified Camel Clutch, and he sits on Punk's back, cuasing more pressure*


Tazz: I can tell you right now, that hold doesn't feel good.


*Raven cranks up the pressure as Punk yells out in pain. Raven lets go of the hold and tries to lock Punk in a Dragon Sleeper, but Punk knees Raven in the face causing him to break the hold*


JR: That is one way to get out of a hold.


*With Raven dazed, Punk locks in a cobra clutch near the ring ropes*



Tazz: Cobra Clutch, a move that has made plenty of people tap. I am sure Raven can find a way out of it.


*Raven reaches his hand out and tries to grab the ropes, but Punk pulls him away from the ropes, and applies more pressure*


JR: Smart move. You might hate Punk, but, it was smart.


*Raven digs deep and gets to his feet and runs backwards, causing Punk to collide into the turnbuckle, causing him to break the hold*


Tazz: Now, there is the champion. Showing how smart he is.


*With Punk down, Raven grabs him and goes for a Chaos Theory, but Punk blocks it and gives Raven a side kick to the back of the head*


JR: Raven went in for the kill, but, Punk had it scouted.




*Punk locks Raven in the Anaconda Vice dead enter in the middle of the ring*


Tazz: What is going on? Punk might win this... the world is coming to an end.


*Punk continues to keep the hold locked in as the ref is preparing to make a judgement*


JR: Raven has not tapped out yet folks, he might be knocked out, but, he has to tap out in order to lose.


*As Punk keeps the hold locked in, we see a figure with a pale complexion, dressed in a corset with torn fisnet stockings and combat boots, enter the ring and throw powder into the eyes of Punk, blinding him in the process*


Tazz: IT'S DAFFNEY!!! AND SHE'S HELPING THE CHAMP!!!


JR: Good Lord, what is Daffney doing here?


*Daffney slides out of the ring and grabs a chair from ringside and slides it into the ring as Raven regains himself and gets up. Glancing at the chair, then to Daffney, Raven gets a sly smirk on his face as he watches Punk swing wildly at the air, as the powder blurs his vision*


Tazz: Punk is punch drunk, so much for being Straight Edge.


*Raven approaches Punk and runs in front of him and sends him to the mat with a Chaos Theory*


JR: The move connects that time!


*Looking at the chair, Raven picks it up and looks out into the crowd as they cheer loudly. Looking down at Punk, Raven lifts the chair and slams it directly into the ankle of Punk causing him to cry out in pain*


Tazz: What a shot. Raven is looking to take out Punk.


*Raven smashes the chair over Punk's ankle one more time, as he locks in the Grapevine Anarchy Lock*


JR: Anarchy Lock! It's been a while since we have seen this move!


*With no where to go, and the pain being too much to handle, Punk taps out in the center of the ring*


Lilian: Here is your winner, and still XWA World Heavyweight Champion, Raven!!!


*Suck It Up hits the P.A. as Raven is awarded his title as he and Daffney embrace in the center of the ring. Raven holds the gold up high as we see Punk roll around in agony, clutching at his ankle*


Tazz: Raven played to his advantage, and in the end, he won the title. Plus, now we get to see Zombie Hot Daffney in XWA. What a great night!!!



Winner and still XWA World Champion, Raven via Submission (18:00)

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

JR: Satan's playground is about ready to begin.

*The dramatic music begins to play as the cell begins to lower and a bunch of crew men begin to put the cell in proper position.*

Tazz: I might be a tough guy, but I never, ever want to be in one of these things.

JR: You can cut the anticpation with a knife. This is the culmination of a rivalry one way or the other...The Rated R Superstar takes on the Deity of Destruction.

Tazz: Considering all the matches these two have had, I think there is no other way to close this rivalry. To think this rivalry started as innocently enough as two guys making fun of the other's valet. Who would've thought that would eventually snowball into such a vicious rivalry.

JR: TLC...a couple straight singles matches, even a few title matches between these two, yet they still aren't satisfied. These two are going straight to hell, and I'm sure the cell will enjoy it.

*You think you know me*

Tazz: The first combantant in this structure...

*Edge appears on stage on cue as the fans give him a thunderous ovation. He takes a few steps down the ramp and does his usual pose to let all his pyro go off behind him. He just has a very serious look on his face.*

Tazz: Edge doesn't seem intimidated as he's been in this match once before. That gives him a slight advantage in the early going, but you know how insane the GM can be.

*Edge enters into the structure and then slides into the ring and just stares down the ramp, waiting for his opponent*

JR: I just have a feeling something terrible is going to happen.

Tazz: I have that same feeling too, JR.

*The lights go out completely as the old 'Diary of Jane' music begins to play. The fans immedietely growl out multiple boos as a ring of fire appears right in the center of the ramp. Soon, we see Iser rise from the ring of fire with a very serious expression on his face as well. He just calmly walks down the ramp after stepping over the fire, not taking his eyes off of Edge. He ignores the fans as he enters the demonic structure and into the ring he goes. Edge takes off his black jacket as Iser takes off his golden one and they get face to face as the ref outside the cell locks the door*

JR: I hope they re-enforced that door after last time.

Tazz: I would hope so, too. No disrespect to Raven and RVD, but I think these two are going to be more violent.

*The two begin to brawl immedietely as the bell rings. Neither man seems to be able to get a proper advantage. Iser with a knee to the gut, but Edge with a stiff elbow to the mush. Neither side seems to backdown from the fighting.*

JR: Good lord, what an explosive start.

*Edge with a kick right to the gut that slows Iser. Edge does a second one and it slows Iser a second time. When Edge goes for a third one, Iser catches the boot and pulls Edge in with a vicious clothesline as the fans Ooh in anticpation*

Tazz: I think Iser had Edge scouted.

*Iser then hits a baseball slide that sends Edge rolling to the apron. Edge soon stands to his feet as Iser gets to his. Iser then delivers a shoulder to the gut of Edge that makes him wince slightly. Iser then hooks Edge up for a suplex and trys suplexing him in, but Edge hangs onto the ropes. Iser punches Edge three times and attempts it again. He gets him up a little ways, but Edge blocks again*

JR: Iser having a hard time bringing Edge back into the ring.

Tazz: He might want to change tactics.

*Iser then lets go and Edge delivers a shoulder to the gut of Iser. Edge then is able to use his head to elevate Iser over the top rope and his back crashes against the cell as he falls all the way back down to the apron*

JR: Good lord! The cell is used as a weapon.

Tazz: Hey WWE, these wrestlers are smart enough to use the cell as a weapon. You guys aren't because you are scared pussies.

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

*Edge then heads to the outside of the ring to pick up a woozy Iser and slam his head off the steel steps once...twice...and make it a third time.*

JR: The steel steps coming into play.

*Edge then throws Iser against the cell face first and we see Iser has been lacerated*

Tazz: It didn't take long at all, JR! We got blood!

*Edge then uses his meanstreak to his full advantage by grinding Iser's face across the cell as some of the fans cringe.*

JR: Good lord.

*Iser finally changes the tide by elbowing Edge twice and tossing Edge back into the ring. Iser gets on the apron and as Edge approaches, Iser jams Edge's throat onto the top rope. Iser then gets onto the top rope and as soon as Edge turns around, Iser leaps off the top rope with a knee right in the mush and Edge instinctively rolls out of the ring.*

JR: I think the blood woke Iser right back up after that fall.

Tazz: I think he likes bleeding, JR.

*Iser then rolls back out of the ring and looks underneath it and grabs a steel chair*

JR: It's going to get even uglier already.

Tazz: The hatred they have for one another...you knew it was bound to happen.

*Iser then waits for Edge to get up on the outside. As soon as he stumbles up, Iser rocks Edge's cranium with a vile steel chair shot.*

JR: Good lord! It sounded like a gunshot!

Tazz: I think the nose-bleed seats heard that one!

JR: I don't think either man has a game plan...they just want to make the other suffer.

Tazz: That's the only gameplan in Hell in a Cell, JR.

*Iser then tosses the chair into the ring as he grabs Edge by the hair and we can see Edge has been lacerated after that chair shot. Iser grins as he grinds Edge's face against the cell to open up the wound.*

Tazz: Oh man...

JR: This is graphic.

Tazz: In WWE, they'd seal the cuts closed with glue.

JR: They'd just re-open in the matter of seconds, Tazz. So fuck that shit.

Tazz: I'm not horny like that, JR. That's Cole's job.

*Edge soon gets an insane look on his face and lets out a barage of elbows to the gut to make Iser lose his grip. Soon, Edge pushes Iser back. Iser instinctively charges, and Edge just flapjacks Iser into the cell, and the force knocks Iser into the camera of a camera man and he falls to the ground.*

JR: Good lord.

Tazz: I think the cell just giggled at that, JR.

*Iser violently plops right to the floor as Edge just maliciously stomps at Iser's face. Edge then grabs Iser by the hair and tosses him back into the ring. Edge soon slides into the ring himself.*

JR: If you got a good close up of when Iser hit the camera, I think he already has a damn hole in his head.

Tazz: We already have two crimson masks.

JR: I doubt we'll see any covers.

*Edge just gets into the mount and punches at the wound at Iser's head about ten times before stopping. The blood thirsty crowd just chants 'One more time!' as Edge goes back to the mount, but Iser uses his legs to block a punch and knock Edge back. As soon as Edge charges, Iser then tosses Edge right back out of the ring again, and his head bashes off the cell, and on the rebound, his face hits the apron, too.*

Tazz: That is why you don't listen to the fans.

JR: What a vicious ride.

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

*In the ring, we hear Iser tell Edge to get his fucking ass up. We see Edge stagger up and his blond hair is starting to turn red from the blood. Iser then leaps over the ropes with a tope and he lands on Edge and his face brushes against the wall.*

JR: Oh my Lord!

Tazz: Iser's willing to kill himself to kill Edge. That just proved it.

*Iser then just reaches under the ring and suddenly gets an evil grin on his face and then slides a table into the ring.*

JR: Uh-oh...Edge and Iser had a TLC match and we have two of those elements in the ring right now.

Tazz: No kidding.

*Iser then grabs Edge by the hair and just throws him face first into the cell and grinds his face across the cell a second time as some of the fans gasp from the blood loss*

JR: This is just a brawl.

Tazz: A heavyweight fight.

*Iser even has his fingers now digging toward Edge's eyes trying to fish hook them*

JR: This is hideous.

*Edge then hits Iser right in the gut with a couple stiff elbows and then a knee right to the beak which causes Iser to roll into the ring to clutch at his nose for a couple seconds.*

Tazz: I'm just watching this in awe.

*Edge then grabs the chair that was in the ring and as soon as Iser reaches for Edge outside of the ring, he cracks Iser right in the head with the chair and the top of the chair is completely broken from the shot.*

JR: OH! That really sounded like a gun shot!

Tazz: Look at that chair!

*Iser, almost lifelessly, falls to the canvus as Edge takes a moment to catch his breath after that vicious chair shot. The fans begin chanting 'Holy shit!' toward that vicious chair shot. Edge then reaches under the ring and pulls out a ladder and the fans gasp again.*

JR: Edge has evil intintions in his mind here.

*Edge slides into the ring with the ladder and Iser hasn't moved much at all. Edge soon sets the ladder up near the corner so he can climb perhaps. Iser begins to stir, so Edge moves over and kicks Iser right on his bloody forehead.*

Tazz: I think Iser's entire forehead is one giant cut. He's bleeding BAD! Edge's mug isn't looking any better, either.

*Edge then sets up the table at the center of the ring and the fans know what Edge may have planned*

JR: I think I know what he's going to do.

Tazz: I think he's only done it in his only other Hell in a Cell appearance, also.

*Edge then grabs the groggy Iser and places him on the table. Iser's barely moving here.*

JR: This might not last too much longer.

*Edge soon grabs the other chair into the ring and approaches the ladder and shoots a glare at Iser. He then starts climbing up the ladder with that chair in his hand.*

Tazz: He did this to Foley and Taker.

*Iser suddenly gets a rush of adrenaline and moves off the table as Edge nearly reached the top of the ladder. Iser then leaps to the middle of the ladder and does a second leap and uses that height and air control to deliever a vicious Hurricaranna to Edge and Edge goes through the table and both men are down!*

JR: OH MY GOODNESS! OH MY LORD!

Tazz: Oh God! Did I really just see that? Oh my Lord!

*The fans begin a giant holy shit chant as both men are out cold in the ring, and Edge is on what is left of that table and the blood is starting to stain parts of the ring. Both men aren't moving right now*

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

The blood bath continued. The next big spot was when Edge attempted to spear Iser through the door, but Iser moved and Edge crashed through. Soon, after about ten minutes, there was a giant brawl on the outside and Edge ended up spearing Iser through the announce table the hardway. This didn't satisfy Edge, though. He just set up a bloodied and battered Iser to the side of the cell and then speared Iser through that. After some pausing, Edge threw Iser into the ring to pin him, but the lights went out. When they came back on, Undertaker was in the ring and tombstoned Edge in the center of the ring in a huge shocker! Taker then put Iser's arm over Edge and the ref reluctantly counted to three. Taker soon vanished, and both Edge and Iser were strectchered out.