Post by The Messiah of Human Torture on Oct 18, 2008 16:52:45 GMT -5
We get a camera crew in Walmart and we see David Devine once again, holding a bottle of viagra.
Devine: Heh...I don't need this stuff...
Devine puts the viagra back and then starts walking down toward the painkillers. We then see a guy with a mask on following David. Soon, the guy taps Devine on the shoulder. Devine turns around.
Devine: What the fuck do you want?
The man unmasks and reveals to be Steve Strummer!
Strummer: The title you son of a bitch.
Strummer floors Devine with a right hand.
Strummer: Let's go shopping, David.
Strummer picks Devine up by his hair and slams him into the medicine shelve sending muitiple bottles of pills flying out. Devine takes a couple steps back but Strummer clotheslines David on the floor. Strummer then drags David toward the area where all the food is.
Strummer: Do you like to eat, David? A rockstar has to eat.
Strummer then picks Devine up and hiptosses him into a bunch of raw hamburger. Strummer then punches Devine in the face a couple times before grabbing a bottle of pickles and breaking it over the top of Devine's head, causing glass to shatter everywhere.
Strummer: This is only the start of our little trip, David. Let's go.
Strummer drags Devine out of there, who is busted open after being hit in the head with the glass jar. Soon, Strummer DDTs Devine on the floor and gets some ketchup
Strummer: I'm gonna put some ketchup on the biggest weiner in RWR history.
Strummer squirts Devine with ketchup who trys to crawl to his feet. Strummer then kicks Devine in the head, and then drags him by the hair again. Strummer then drags Devine out of the food department and into the pet care stuff.
Strummer: You're a piece of shit, Devine, time to clean your act up.
Strummer then grabs a twenty pound box of kitty litter and opens it so it all falls on Devine.
Strummer: You're still shit. Do you regret taking the title the way you did?
Strummer then drags Devine out of the pet department area and into the video game store as people are just staring at them. Strummer doesn't seem to care as if he has tunnel vision. Steve now has Devine in the video game department.
Strummer: Do you like to play games, Davey boy? Well, game on.
Devine finally shows some signs of life by kicking Strummer between the legs and down he goes. Devine crawls up onto a stack of DVDs and starts chucking some of the Sting DVDs that are there at Strummer. Devine then throws two more Sting DVDs down on the ground, wobbling a little bit before he picks up Strummer by his hair and then having him set for a piledriver and he drops him on his head with the piledriver on the DVDs. The people around them gasp in shock as Devine starts crawling away from the warzone they just created and appears to be crawling for a door. Some people are standing near the door.
Devine: Get out of my way!
Devine then pushes the door away and we hear a bunch of women screaming.
Devine: Shit, this ain't the exit...
Devine gets to his feet, wobbling, and throws the door over. He then wobbles, blood starting to go everywhere he stands, as he returns to the videogame area where he piledrove Strummer. Strummer is no longer there.
Devine: Son of a bitch.
Devine then wobbles down back toward the food department, looking for Strummer. Behind Devine, Strummer appears after exiting a refrigerator door, with a bottle of milk. He takes a drink of it real quick.
Strummer: Hey Devine! You got milk?
Devine turns around and Strummer breaks it over Devine's head. Strummer then grabs the now seemingly lifeless Devine up by the head, dragging him near the shelves before finally picking him up. Devine is seemingly out on his feet.
Strummer: Here's to you.
Strummer flips Devine the bird before kicking him in the gut and giving Devine the Rock You! Devine flips over from the impact and his body crashes into a shelf and it tips over. Soon, the shelf falls onto another shelf and they all fall like dominos down. We then hear all the thuds of more shelves falling as the people there are running for their lives, narrowing avoiding the fate of getting crushed. Finally, all the shelves there are gone as Strummer looks seemingly admiring his damage.
Strummer: This was the greatest time I've ever had shopping, I might even make a song on it! Let's check out, Davey boy.
Strummer then sees a stray cart hanging there and he tosses the lifeless Devine into the cart. Strummer then starts pushing the cart as fast as he can down the one clear pathway that wasn't affected by the shelves despite all these stray cans of food laying around everywhere. Strummer then sees a window and pushes Devine toward it before tipping it over at the last moment, sending Devine airborn and through the window!
Strummer: I won't check you out, but I think lay away is more appropriate for you.
Strummer then exits out of the Walmart as Devine lays bloodied and lifeless on the concrete outside of Walmart.
Devine: Heh...I don't need this stuff...
Devine puts the viagra back and then starts walking down toward the painkillers. We then see a guy with a mask on following David. Soon, the guy taps Devine on the shoulder. Devine turns around.
Devine: What the fuck do you want?
The man unmasks and reveals to be Steve Strummer!
Strummer: The title you son of a bitch.
Strummer floors Devine with a right hand.
Strummer: Let's go shopping, David.
Strummer picks Devine up by his hair and slams him into the medicine shelve sending muitiple bottles of pills flying out. Devine takes a couple steps back but Strummer clotheslines David on the floor. Strummer then drags David toward the area where all the food is.
Strummer: Do you like to eat, David? A rockstar has to eat.
Strummer then picks Devine up and hiptosses him into a bunch of raw hamburger. Strummer then punches Devine in the face a couple times before grabbing a bottle of pickles and breaking it over the top of Devine's head, causing glass to shatter everywhere.
Strummer: This is only the start of our little trip, David. Let's go.
Strummer drags Devine out of there, who is busted open after being hit in the head with the glass jar. Soon, Strummer DDTs Devine on the floor and gets some ketchup
Strummer: I'm gonna put some ketchup on the biggest weiner in RWR history.
Strummer squirts Devine with ketchup who trys to crawl to his feet. Strummer then kicks Devine in the head, and then drags him by the hair again. Strummer then drags Devine out of the food department and into the pet care stuff.
Strummer: You're a piece of shit, Devine, time to clean your act up.
Strummer then grabs a twenty pound box of kitty litter and opens it so it all falls on Devine.
Strummer: You're still shit. Do you regret taking the title the way you did?
Strummer then drags Devine out of the pet department area and into the video game store as people are just staring at them. Strummer doesn't seem to care as if he has tunnel vision. Steve now has Devine in the video game department.
Strummer: Do you like to play games, Davey boy? Well, game on.
Devine finally shows some signs of life by kicking Strummer between the legs and down he goes. Devine crawls up onto a stack of DVDs and starts chucking some of the Sting DVDs that are there at Strummer. Devine then throws two more Sting DVDs down on the ground, wobbling a little bit before he picks up Strummer by his hair and then having him set for a piledriver and he drops him on his head with the piledriver on the DVDs. The people around them gasp in shock as Devine starts crawling away from the warzone they just created and appears to be crawling for a door. Some people are standing near the door.
Devine: Get out of my way!
Devine then pushes the door away and we hear a bunch of women screaming.
Devine: Shit, this ain't the exit...
Devine gets to his feet, wobbling, and throws the door over. He then wobbles, blood starting to go everywhere he stands, as he returns to the videogame area where he piledrove Strummer. Strummer is no longer there.
Devine: Son of a bitch.
Devine then wobbles down back toward the food department, looking for Strummer. Behind Devine, Strummer appears after exiting a refrigerator door, with a bottle of milk. He takes a drink of it real quick.
Strummer: Hey Devine! You got milk?
Devine turns around and Strummer breaks it over Devine's head. Strummer then grabs the now seemingly lifeless Devine up by the head, dragging him near the shelves before finally picking him up. Devine is seemingly out on his feet.
Strummer: Here's to you.
Strummer flips Devine the bird before kicking him in the gut and giving Devine the Rock You! Devine flips over from the impact and his body crashes into a shelf and it tips over. Soon, the shelf falls onto another shelf and they all fall like dominos down. We then hear all the thuds of more shelves falling as the people there are running for their lives, narrowing avoiding the fate of getting crushed. Finally, all the shelves there are gone as Strummer looks seemingly admiring his damage.
Strummer: This was the greatest time I've ever had shopping, I might even make a song on it! Let's check out, Davey boy.
Strummer then sees a stray cart hanging there and he tosses the lifeless Devine into the cart. Strummer then starts pushing the cart as fast as he can down the one clear pathway that wasn't affected by the shelves despite all these stray cans of food laying around everywhere. Strummer then sees a window and pushes Devine toward it before tipping it over at the last moment, sending Devine airborn and through the window!
Strummer: I won't check you out, but I think lay away is more appropriate for you.
Strummer then exits out of the Walmart as Devine lays bloodied and lifeless on the concrete outside of Walmart.
