Revolution in Spain card

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

Mickie James vs McBitch

RVD vs Zane

Edge vs CM Punk

Raven's rules: Raven vs Jeff Hardy

Special attraction main event + Grudge match: Kane vs GM Iser

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

*The usual pyro goes off*

Joey: Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Revolution, in Madrid Spain!

Tazz: and since JBL refused to be here tonight because it's unamerican, I'm subbing for JBL this week.

Joey: Are you gonna eat more kit-kat bars?

Tazz: May-be I should lock the tazzmission on you like I did on Michael Cole on the video game! That's a great idea!

Joey: No thanks, partner.

*I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD!*

Joey: He wasn't on the card.

*Randy Orton appears on the ramp with Spanish fans calling him a dickhead in spanish*

Tazz: This is a good surprise. I wonder what is on the Legend Killer's mind.

*Randy slides into the ring and grabs a mic*

Randy: I want to address a certain man backstage...you fans started out hating this man, but now you guys love him...showing how fickle you are...and I wish never to have your support.

*The fans chant 'Orton sucks'*

Randy: Number one...shut the fuck up...don't you EVER interupt me again

*The fans boo*

Randy: Number two...I would like Mr G.M. Iser to come down to the ring...right now.

Joey: He's calling the boss out. What does he want with the boss?

Tazz: If I were him, I wouldn't say anything to Randy due to a match with Kane.

*Diary of Jane begins to play as the fans cheer the music and the GM appears in his 'GM' attire walking down to the ring, looking very serious*

Joey: This is combustable elements here, Tazz.

Tazz: Really, JR? You know, you are starting to get a gut.

Joey: ...

*The GM walks into the ring to deal with Randy*

Orton: I was watching that casket match you had with Taker. It brought back memories of my casket match with Taker...but mine was...a better result than yours...I halted Taker's momentum for a month...and set his dead ass on fire.

*The GM snatches the mic from Orton drawing cheers.*

Iser: I did not...come out here...to listen to you state the obvious...I came out here...to see why the fuck you flew here on Spain when you weren't even booked.

*Orton snatches the mic right back*

Orton: That's exactly why the hell I flew up here! I am the Legend Killer! I bring ratings up! Just ask RAW! I want to end someone's career...even if it is yours.

*Iser again snatches the mic*

Iser: Then here I am. I'm not shying away.

*Iser then drops the mic and takes off his shirt as they look like they are about to brawl. Then they start throwing right hands at eachother.

Joey: We got a confrontation here, I don't know if they're gonna send securi---

*Gong*

Tazz: Check it out...Taker's in the ring already.

*Iser drop toe holds Orton down, but then gets goozled by Taker who takes him up and chokeslams him as the fans boo*

Joey: That had to hurt.

*Taker laughs at his handy work, as Orton gets up. Taker turns to Orton and Orton drops Taker with an RKO as the fans cheer that move.*

Tazz: I don't think Orton cares...he wants to make an impact...and he just did.

*Orton slides out of the ring as he has that cold stare in his eyes while he backs up the ramp*

*Commercials*

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

*McCool is already in the ring*

Joey: Well, here is an interesting surprise.

Tazz: Paris Hilton called, she wants her skinny body and blond hair back!

*Mickie James music hits as she gets a deafening pop from the crowd*

Joey: I don't think I can hear you.

Tazz: That's because I ain't talking, mits.

*Mickie runs into the ring, McCool trys a clothesline, but Mickie ducks and then hits a Mick-kick and covers for the easy win*

Joey: Wow, what an impressive win.

Tazz: Paris can't wrestle either. She can't wrestle, she can't suck a dick...and she is a waste of oxygen! GET HER OUT OF HERE!

*Mickie celebrates up the ramp*

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

Zane is in the ring waiting for RVD.

*ONE OF A KIND*

Joey: Here comes RVD...and he's got a chair.

*Zane peeks his head over the ropes and RVD smashes him in the head with a chair*

Tazz: Goodnight irene...

*RVD then kicks Zane out of the ring and demands a mic*

RVD: I don't give a damn about this match. I am irate right now at one man. That's you Raven.

Joey: Uh-oh.

Tazz: Rob's making a target of himself.

RVD: How dare you...kill the high flying nature, and I'm a high flyer...I challenge you to kill ME.

*RVD rolls out of the ring as the fans go nuts with a huge pop as he walks up the ramp*

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

*This fire burns begins to play as CM Punk comes out with a giant bandage on his forehead*

Joey: He's really feeling the effects of that barbaric attack a few weeks ago.

Tazz: I don't think he should even be he--

*Edge runs down and hits Punk with a chair*

Joey: WAIT A MINUTE, THAT FUCKING EDGE...

Tazz: I can't believe THAT came out of your mouth.

Joey: He's a piece of crap!

Tazz: Pot calling kettle black there...

*Edge then repeatedly hits Punk in the head with the chair about five times before running into the ring*

Joey: He's lost his mind.

*Edge snatches a mic from the stage hand*

Edge: GOD DAMN IT! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!

*Edge slaps himself in the face a couple times as the fans boo the man*

Edge: SHUT THE HELL UP, ALL YOU PENDAHOS!

*The fans then start a 'Shut the fuck up' chant in spanish toward Edge*

Edge: I don't even know what the hell you are saying, but to hell with all of you. Now then, Vampiro X, you have something that belongs TO ME! IT'S MY DAMN TITLE! GET OUT HERE NOW!

Joey: Wow...Edge is calling out Vampiro X here.

*So Cold begins to play as the fans cheer like crazy*

Tazz: Here comes Vampiro X, and he still has possession of that title.

*Vamp comes out, title over his shoulder and a mic*

Edge: Are you actually gonna say something, you zombie?

Vamp: Number one...shut the fuck up.

*The fans pop like crazy for that*

Tazz: What vulgarity in the past minute and a half...

Vamp: Number two...you and I...two out of three falls...for this title over my shoulder.

Edge: You don't have to ask me twice, I accept.

*Vamp flashes a smile and slowly walks back up the ramp as XWA goes into commercials*

[#HEEL Dark Lord]

Tazz: I can't believe it, two out of three falls for the XWA title. That will be off the hook.


Joey: Yes, finally someone is bold enough to stand up to that bastard Edge.


Tazz: Let's send it to Lillian to begin our next match.


Lillian: The following contest is a Raven's rules match. In this match, there are no rules. You may either win the match by pinfall or submission.


*No More Words" by EndeverafteR hits the P.A. as the Spain crowd pops huge*



Lillian: Introducing first, from Cameron, North Carolina, weighing in at 225 pounds, The Rainbow-Haired Warrior , Jeff Hardy!!!


*Jeff does his usual dancing as his pyro goes off*


Joey: As of late, Jeff's opponent, Raven has been going after the high flyers, you would have to think Jeff is going to go out and prove a point to him.


Tazz: Yeah, a point that Raven was right!


*Hardy interacts with the fans as he walks down the ramp. He climbs into the ring and goes to the corner and does his usual nonsense that gets the crowd to pop more.*


Joey: Jeff looks ready.


Tazz: How can you tell, he looks loaded to me.



*The lights go out*


ALL HAIL THE DARK LORD!!!!! HE IS COMING!!!


*Suck It Up by Hed p.e. hits the P.A. as the lights come back on and smoke empties onto the entrance ramp. Out through the smoke emerges The Dark Lord, decked in a Black and blue Punisher shirt as the crowd boos him loudly.*


Lillian: Introducing the opponent, from Toronto, Ontario Canada, weighing in at 215 pounds, The Dark Lord, Raven!!!!


*Raven stops in the middle of the ramp and looks at both sides of the crowd behind the barricade, he looks up to the rafters and raises his hands to form the devil horns as a barrage of pyro goes off behind him. He lowers his hands and gets an arrogant smirk on his face and he continues to walk down the ramp*


Tazz: Raven seems extra confident today. Jeff is in for a long day.


*Raven rushes down the bottom of the ramp and slides into the ring, as he looks up at Jeff, he loses his grin and a scowl flashes across his face*


Joey: Raven looks annoyed.



*Raven gets himself off the canvas and goes to the opposite corner, he looks out into the crowd who continue to jeer him as he raises his arms to form the Devil Horns again, as a bunch of pyro goes off and around the rafters*


Tazz: More awesome pyro.



*Raven gets down from the ropes and turns to stare a hole through Jeff as the bell sounds*



Joey: Raven looks possessed. He really wants to take out all the high flyers.


Tazz: How is Jeff going to survive this?



Raven and Jeff meet in the center of the ring as Raven continues to stare him down. An icy cold look falls on his face as he rears back and decks Jeff right in the jaw.


Tazz: Ouch, Jeff got nailed.


As Jeff is on the mat, Raven slides out of the ring and grabs a steel chair from the timekeepers area.


Joey: A chair already?


As Raven slides back in the ring, Jeff slides out, avoiding getting hit by a chair.



Tazz: What a coward.



As Jeff takes a moment to gather himself, Raven goes to the other side of the ring and hurls the chair down at Jeff at hits him directly in the head.



Joey: Raven is not giving Jeff a break.



Raven exits the ring and kicks Jeff while he is down.



Tazz: I think Raven is picturing doing this to RVD.



Raven falls to the ground and begins to punch Jeff in the head as the ref watches on.


Joey: Not much he can do, as anything is legal sadly.


Raven continues to beat Jeff's face in as he begins to yell at Jeff.


Raven: I am going to destroy you!!! You Hear me!!!! I will CRIPPLE YOU!!!


Raven punches Jeff one last time as he grabs Jeff by the arm and flings him into the steel steps, as he crashes back first into them.



Tazz: Raven has gone off the deep end. I love it!!!



Joey: Enough is enough. Jeff doesn't deserve this.


Raven looks down at the chair and picks it up and smacks the ring post with it and then smacks Jeff over the back.


Raven: Do you like that Jeff!!!! Feel like flying?!?!


Joey: Someone stop this.


Raven grabs Jeff by the hair and begins the whip him into the crowd barricades


Tazz: Jeff is in big trouble, I love this match.


Joey: Well, as much as you maye like it, we have to go to commercial.



~Commercial~


*A black screen is shown as two figures are shown standing side by side.


??: Power

??: Looks

??: Ability

?? Greatness

??: That is what we have.

??: XWA, we are a-coming for you-a. You can't stop-a this greatness from happening.

??: In time, you will find out.

??: While we give you a taste of our ass whip!!!


*The scenes fades as the words "COMING SOON" flash.*



Back to the match, we see Raven drop Jeff throat first onto the barricade.


Tazz: Welcome back, during the break, Raven has been in full control of the match. Tossing Jeff into each barricade, back and forth.


Jeff begins to struggle to his feet as Raven goes to the other side of the ramp and kneels down.



Tazz: Dark Assassin time!!!


Jeff turns around as Raven lunges at him, but Jeff jumps out the way as Raven stops himself before he crashes into the steel barrier.


Tazz: That was close.


Raven turns around and Jeff kicks him in the gut and drops him with the Twist of Fate.



Joey: TWIST OF FATE!!!!!! Pin him Jeff.



Tazz: What just happened?



*Instant replay of the Twist of Fate*



Jeff is about to pin Raven, but the crowd begins to cheer even louder, causing Jeff's adrenaline begins to pump and he looks up at a scaffolding by the titontron and looks down at a pair of tables on the ground.



Joey: Jeff, what are you doing? Pin him.


Tazz: It looks like Jeff can't believe he downed the Dark Lord.


Jeff looks down at Raven and begins to drag him near the tables.


Joey: What is this?!



Jeff places Raven across both tables and punches him a few times to make sure he is down. Jeff looks out into the crowd as does the Hardy gun taunt and takes his shirt off as the female fans cheer loudly.


Tazz: Sluts......


Jeff begins to climb up the scaffolding as the crowd chants for him



Joey: Raven will be crushed!!!



Tazz: That is not a good thing


Jeff balances himself on the top of the scaffolding, he looks out int the crowd one more time, before he flips off and falls quickly to the ground.


Tazz: I can't look!!!!


As Jeff is about the crash through the tables, Raven quickly rolls out of the way as Jeff's momentum crashed him through the tables.



Joey: OH MY GOD!!!!!



Fans: Holy shit!!! Holy shit!!!!



As Jeff lay motionless, Raven slowly picks up Jeff and drops him with a Chaos Theory on the splintered remains of the table.


Joey: That no good bastard, he was playing possum.


Tazz: And it worked!!!



Raven covers Jeff for the pin.


One


Two


Three!!!!


Lillian: Here is your winner, Raven!!!!!




*Suck It Up hits the P.A. as the crowd boos loudly as Raven raises the Devil Horns over the fallen body of Jeff*


*Instant replay of the Swanton Attempt and the Chaos Theory Air*





Back live, we see Raven continue to stand over Jeff as he looks down at him with an icy glare.



Tazz: Raven killed another high flyer, RVD is in serious trouble.


Joey: Who is that?


As Raven looks down at Jeff, we see Zane run out from the backstage area and approaches Raven


Tazz: What do you think he wants?


Joey: It looks like he is giving Raven praise for his win.


Zane is shown mocking Jeff while he is done, as Raven has not even acknowledged that he is there.


Tazz: Raven could care less about Zane.


Joey: Looks like Zane is still Raven's B-Team


As Zane goes to raise Raven's arm, he quickly falls victim to the Chaos Theory


Tazz: Raven turned on Zane!!!!!


Joey: Guess there is no more B-Team


Raven looks at the fallen body of Zane, with a blank look on his face, as he heads to the back.


Joey: Raven is in an odd state of mind. This could be bad.


Tazz: Yeah, for RVD!!


Winner via pinfall: Raven (11:00)



~Commercials~

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

*We see the afro of Ricky Ortiz and the man himself in the ring*

Ortiz: Wow, I would love to get a job-ah here.

*The fans chant 'WHO ARE YOU' toward Ortiz*

Ortiz: My name is Ricky Ortiz.

*The fans then chant SHUT THE FUCK UP!*

Ortiz: That's rude...but you can still get my Ortiz towel!

*The fans boo*

Joey: My ears are bleeding from Ortiz.

Tazz: Same here, partner.

*AIN'T NO STOPPING ME NOW!*

(Shelton Benjamin comes out to a good pop from the crowd)

Joey: Here comes Shelton Benjamin, Tazz!

Tazz: I've never been so happy to see him in my life, Joey.

*Shelton enters the ring, TV title around his waist*

Ortiz: Hey, Shelton Benjamin, would you like an Ortiz towel?

*Ortiz hands Benjamin a towel...Benjamin takes it for a minute, and then drops Ortiz with pay dirt as the fans pop*

Joey: I think that was a no.

*Benjamin then blows his nose with the Ortiz towel and lays it on Ortiz*

Tazz: I guess he is snoty! HAH!

Joey: Next is the main event!

*Benjamin leaves the ring as XWA goes into commercial*

[The Messiah of Human Torture]

Kane defeats GM Iser in a brutal brawl involving a steel chair for the most part and a ladder toward the end. The final spot was Kane chokeslamming the GM off the top of the ladder through the XWA annoucetable on the outside as Joey yelled 'OH MY GOD' and Tazz blurted out 'HOLY SHIT'. After Kane pinned the GM, Rhino came out and GORED a tired Kane into the steel steps. Rhino then did his signature taunt, flipping the crowd off in the process as the EMTs checked on Kane*who pushed them away and crawled up the ramp eventually* and GM Iser*who was helped up to his feet, but he also pushed them away and crawled up the ramp, blood going everywhere he was as he was a BLOODY BLOODY mess*

(Kracker's note: Top this shit CZW...no not with a fucking potted plant either)