Post by The Human Cancer on Jan 30, 2008 21:06:09 GMT -5
*XWA returns for a short commercial break to be brought to the announcer's table at ringside where Joey Styles and Taz are seated, along with the new member of the announcer's team, the legendary Bret Hart who is wearing the new "I Hate Joey, and Bret Does Too!" t-shirt (now available on XWAShop.com).*
Taz: Welcome back to the XWA, folks!
Joey: We just got word from GM Iser's office that he has brought in the legendary RaVen onto the roster.
Bret: That's right, Joey. RaVen is the only good American; besides a dead one, of course.
Joey: If you ask me Bret, Iser made a big mistake bringing you on to the team...
Bret: Yeah? And your mother made a big mistake by not taking you out with a clothes hanger when she had the chance.
Joey: Shut the-
Taz: Joey, it's best if you don't. You always lose anyhow.
Bret: I'm sorry Joey, let's be friends. As a matter of fact, here's a joke for you. Knock, knock!
Joey: *with an annoyed sigh* Who's there?
Bret: Banana. Knock, knock!
Joey: *with an annoyed sigh, once again* Who's there?
Bret: Banana. Knock, knock!
Joey: Who's... there?
Bret: Orange you glad I didn't say...
*Bret pauses, while Joey stares him down with an angry glare.*
Joey: C'mon, out with it! Banana! Say it!
Bret: Was I even talking to you? Shut the fuck up you ass munch.
*Joey sits back in his chair with a pout, as the familiar chiming sound that opens The Offspring's "Come Out and Play" hits the PA system.*
Bret: There he is; look at that Godlike aura around him!
Joey: That's the stagelights...
Bret: Hey, I'm the hitman! What I say, goes. Got it Nancy?
*The line "Gotta keep em separated echoes in the arena as the new XWA arrival RaVen comes from behind the black curtain, and onto the stage. Bret stands at ringside, clapping for the "only good American" as he makes his way down the ramp to the apron. He goes to climb onto the apron, but Bret flags him off first. RaVen backs up with a peculiar look on his face, as Bret grabs Joey by the back of the collar and drags him to where RaVen is standing. Joey is thrown to the ground while Bret yells inaudibly in his ear. Tears begin to roll down Joey's cheeks as he sets himself in an all-fours position next to the apron; Bret waves RaVen on, who uses Joey as a step to get onto the apron.*
Taz: What class! Joey helping RaVen into the ring, what a guy!
*Bret drags Joey by his collar once again around to the announcer's table, where he forces him to hand a mic to RaVen who is supporting his knees on the second turnbuckle as he hits his crucifix pose. He approaches the ringside facing the table, and takes the mic from Joey sternly; "Come Out and Play" proceeds to fade from the PA, and Bret and Joey return to their seats.*
RaVen: You may have guessed it by now, but I'm now here in the XWA to bring the blind to the city of hope; that's right, you here tonight are all the blind, you at home are the blind. You.. especially you... *RaVen points at Joey* are the blind. I sat at home for a long while watching this place with a close eye; watching the revolving door of mediocre... jobbers... whom seem to have come in with hopes of attaining some sort of acknowledgment; they were grasping at straws, which slowly slipped through their grasp...
Bret: Yeah! You tell them RaVen!
Taz: *He begins to make a sniffing sound* What the hell is that smell?
Bret: *He begins a sniff as well, his face washing over with a scowl.* Smells like... piss and fear... I know that smell after all, that's why Shawn Michaels called down his little cronies and had them tell Hebner call the submission...
Joey: *Under the sniffling of his tears* It was me... I peed...
Bret: Good God, I'm going to make you wear Depends. I mean, really...
RaVen: I was chosen. I was brought here with the purpose of ridding the XWA of decay, much like a Cancer... Recognize this face, you sons of bitches, for soon I will have hollowed out this dying carcass.
*"Come Out and Play" hits once more as RaVen mounts the nearest corner, striking his crucifix pose.*
Bret: Brilliant! Fucking brilliant! Bravo!
Joey: All he did was babble his usual garbage...
Bret: Maybe if you got your lips off of a cock every once in a while, I might, might just take your fucking stupid comments with a grain of salt.
*The scene fades out on RaVen still in his crucifix pose as the scene heads to commerical.*
Taz: Welcome back to the XWA, folks!
Joey: We just got word from GM Iser's office that he has brought in the legendary RaVen onto the roster.
Bret: That's right, Joey. RaVen is the only good American; besides a dead one, of course.
Joey: If you ask me Bret, Iser made a big mistake bringing you on to the team...
Bret: Yeah? And your mother made a big mistake by not taking you out with a clothes hanger when she had the chance.
Joey: Shut the-
Taz: Joey, it's best if you don't. You always lose anyhow.
Bret: I'm sorry Joey, let's be friends. As a matter of fact, here's a joke for you. Knock, knock!
Joey: *with an annoyed sigh* Who's there?
Bret: Banana. Knock, knock!
Joey: *with an annoyed sigh, once again* Who's there?
Bret: Banana. Knock, knock!
Joey: Who's... there?
Bret: Orange you glad I didn't say...
*Bret pauses, while Joey stares him down with an angry glare.*
Joey: C'mon, out with it! Banana! Say it!
Bret: Was I even talking to you? Shut the fuck up you ass munch.
*Joey sits back in his chair with a pout, as the familiar chiming sound that opens The Offspring's "Come Out and Play" hits the PA system.*
Bret: There he is; look at that Godlike aura around him!
Joey: That's the stagelights...
Bret: Hey, I'm the hitman! What I say, goes. Got it Nancy?
*The line "Gotta keep em separated echoes in the arena as the new XWA arrival RaVen comes from behind the black curtain, and onto the stage. Bret stands at ringside, clapping for the "only good American" as he makes his way down the ramp to the apron. He goes to climb onto the apron, but Bret flags him off first. RaVen backs up with a peculiar look on his face, as Bret grabs Joey by the back of the collar and drags him to where RaVen is standing. Joey is thrown to the ground while Bret yells inaudibly in his ear. Tears begin to roll down Joey's cheeks as he sets himself in an all-fours position next to the apron; Bret waves RaVen on, who uses Joey as a step to get onto the apron.*
Taz: What class! Joey helping RaVen into the ring, what a guy!
*Bret drags Joey by his collar once again around to the announcer's table, where he forces him to hand a mic to RaVen who is supporting his knees on the second turnbuckle as he hits his crucifix pose. He approaches the ringside facing the table, and takes the mic from Joey sternly; "Come Out and Play" proceeds to fade from the PA, and Bret and Joey return to their seats.*
RaVen: You may have guessed it by now, but I'm now here in the XWA to bring the blind to the city of hope; that's right, you here tonight are all the blind, you at home are the blind. You.. especially you... *RaVen points at Joey* are the blind. I sat at home for a long while watching this place with a close eye; watching the revolving door of mediocre... jobbers... whom seem to have come in with hopes of attaining some sort of acknowledgment; they were grasping at straws, which slowly slipped through their grasp...
Bret: Yeah! You tell them RaVen!
Taz: *He begins to make a sniffing sound* What the hell is that smell?
Bret: *He begins a sniff as well, his face washing over with a scowl.* Smells like... piss and fear... I know that smell after all, that's why Shawn Michaels called down his little cronies and had them tell Hebner call the submission...
Joey: *Under the sniffling of his tears* It was me... I peed...
Bret: Good God, I'm going to make you wear Depends. I mean, really...
RaVen: I was chosen. I was brought here with the purpose of ridding the XWA of decay, much like a Cancer... Recognize this face, you sons of bitches, for soon I will have hollowed out this dying carcass.
*"Come Out and Play" hits once more as RaVen mounts the nearest corner, striking his crucifix pose.*
Bret: Brilliant! Fucking brilliant! Bravo!
Joey: All he did was babble his usual garbage...
Bret: Maybe if you got your lips off of a cock every once in a while, I might, might just take your fucking stupid comments with a grain of salt.
*The scene fades out on RaVen still in his crucifix pose as the scene heads to commerical.*
